In case of Sues, use the TARDIS
by gNat2
Summary: Starting winter break? Finally! Finding a TARDIS in your backyard unattended? Sweet! Realizing you have to save the world of multiple fandoms with your best friend from the evil Mary and Gary Sues? At least I brought my fez for this. Let's hope we don't have to run so often. Multiple X-over fanfiction collab with Meepalicious.
1. How it all started part 1

**gNat2: Hello everyone, gNat2 here. This is a message made went I uploaded this on fanfiction but did not publish it yet. I was actually going to upload this yesterday, but my excuse is the Asylum of the Daleks and Dinosaurs on a Spaceship. There is no 11th Doctor here, just the trusty TARDIS. My OC persona would sometimes be called The Doctor or the unoffical/12th Doctor since she'll be in control of the blue box.  
**

**This is Meep's and I's first fanfiction collab ever. This was just an idea on one casual summer day when she was telling me about some Mary Sue hunting fanfiction she just finished (I read some part where they went to the Austin Powers world. Groovy, baby!) and we got this idea and...well, fill in the blanks without your sonic screwdriver. We listed fandoms that we know and used a randomizer to put in the order so we don't have to bring it up to you guys and you yell out "DO TWILIGHT!" or "PUT IN DA HUNGER GAMEZZ!" But suggestions are always nice just in case we do something after this story is done. **

**Now I will shut up and bring up the the first chapter of this crazy fiction from a genius and her middle earth fanatic friend.**

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**Meepalicious' Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! I ONLY OWN MYSELF!**

Chapter One

Gabriella's POV

It was the last day of school before winter break, coincidentally it was a Friday, the air was cold and there was a foot or so of snow on the ground. And my ninth period computer class was _almost _over. Needless to say, not even the teacher could focus on her work. I wondered if senioritis was contagious. _Screw it! _I thought as I closed the Photoshop program I was working on and logged off. I collected my books and pushed some of my waist length, curly/wavy dark brown hair out of my green eyes. Yeah, my hair can't decide if it wants to be wavy or curly. Everyone in the class stared intently at the clock as it counted down the last few minutes until we were free from school for two whole weeks! I couldn't wait. Suddenly the bell sounded. Oh that sweet, sweet sound of the ninth period bell. Somehow it was less annoying than the bells during the school day. "Freedom!" My friend Angelina yelled as we bolted out of the room. I rushed up the stairs and to my locker while trying not to drown in the sea of students trying to get out of the building. My locker was next to Angelina's. I hadn't known her before we had become locker neighbors yet somehow we had become pretty close.

"So, what are you doing when you get home?" She asked me as I pulled my blue winter coat over the purple sweater I was wearing and fixed my boots. "Unpack my crap, put on my slippers, make myself some hot chocolate and catch up on Supernatural." I answered as I looked Angelina right in her ice blue eyes. She shook her head playfully, causing her jet black pixie cut hair to sway back and forth. Angelina's a Twi-hard, so she cuts her hair to look like Alice Cullen. I hate Twilight with a passion. That's one of the major differences between us. "You don't have homework?" she sounded shocked. "Nope! I only had math homework and I did it at lunch." I shook my head and hauled my backpack on. "Lucky bitch." Angelina muttered. I grinned at her and left the building, finally heading home. The school day had seemed to drag on forever. It always does right before a break.

I walked the few blocks it was from the high school to my house, enjoying the cold air and the fact that I could see my breath in the air. I practically live for days like this. Once I reached my house I dug my key out of my backpack and let myself in. I turned on the radio in the kitchen before bringing my stuff upstairs to my room and dumping it by my desk. I had the next few hours to myself, seeing as it wasn't even two thirty yet, my parents don't get home until close to five and my younger brother was going to a friend's house for a sleepover after he got out of school at 2:50. He wouldn't be back until tomorrow afternoon. I did exactly what I told Angelina I'd do. I swapped my black boots for comfy slippers, made some hot chocolate and went to my living room to catch up on the episodes of Supernatural I had missed the last few Fridays due to the fact that I go to my local archery range on Friday nights. The range was closed for the winter break so I'd be able to watch tonight's episode.

I was about halfway through an episode of Supernatural, and my cup of hot chocolate, and it was snowing outside again. Everything was completely normal until some weird noise happening. Yes, you heard me right. There was an unusual noise! Out of nowhere came a blue police box; it reminded me of Doctor Who. Anyway, the thing landed right in the middle of my living room with a huge crash. "What the hell was that?" I heard a male voice shout from inside the box. I took a fighting stance; this would be where ten years of Ju Jitsu training would help. I'm seventeen and I've been training since I was seven. "That was traveling to another dimension. If luck is on our side, we're in the living room of my friend Gabriella or Gabbi as most people call her." The voice of my best friend Patty sounded from inside the box. "If that be the case, luck is on your side!" I called with a fake British accent. "Gabbi!" Patty shouted and opened the door to the police box. A minute later I was tackled by the taller than me girl with hazel eyes and mid back length sandy blonde hair that was my best friend and we fell onto my couch.

"The TARDIS worked!" she yelled as she helped me up. "You mean that's the actual TARDIS?! How did you get it? What the hell did you want it for? And why in the name of all things holy did you bring it into my living room?" I rattled off all the questions that had come into my mind. "Yes, that's the actual TARDIS from Doctor Who. I stole it. I'm unofficially the Twelfth Doctor! And it's in your living room because you are coming with us." She answered all my questions and shrugged, like it was completely normal to steal the freaking TARDIS. "You stole the TARDIS? Us? As in we? Meaning you, me and possibly others?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah, that may not have been my best idea. I think the Doctor is gonna be a bit mad at me. Where ever he is." She smiled sheepishly. "No shit." I commented. "To answer the second question, we means you, me, and Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry and possibly others." She stated. "Who and who from where?" I cocked my head to the side. "Dante and Vergil from Devil May Cry, you don't know them. They're brothers." She clarified. Well, supposedly clarified. I was still confused.

Just then two guys stepped out of the TARDIS and into the room. They looked like they could be brothers. Really badass brothers. One had long-ish white hair and a long red jacket and the other had short spiky hair of the same color as the other guy's and a long blue jacket. Did I mention that they both had swords? They both had swords. "That's Dante." Patty pointed to the dude in the red jacket, he nodded. "And that's Vergil." Patty pointed to the guy who stood next to Dante. "Vergil, Dante. This is my best friend in the whole damn universe, well in this universe, Gabriella." Patty stood aside so they could see me. "Please, just call me Gabbi." I told them and waved awkwardly.

"So why exactly are you here and why did you bring Dante and Vergil with you?" I asked, getting back on topic. "I brought Dante and Vergil because I wanted to see if the TARDIS could travel between fictional fandoms. It can." She told me. "Obviously." I said, imitating Professor Snape. "I'm here because…" Natalie paused and looked at me seriously. "Canons are being overrun with Mary Sues." She was forced to stop when I shuddered involuntarily. I probably read too much fanfiction if I shudder at the mention of Mary Sues. "Yeah. I know. Dante and Vergil were fighting some when I got to Devil May Cry. I told them I'd help them fight Sues but that we need some help, then we kicked Sue ass and came here to find you for two reasons. One, I know you and you'd jump at the chance to kick Mary Sue ass." Patty started. "Damn Skippy." I interrupted her. "You're also a good fighter. I would know; I've had to spar you in Ju Jitsu an uncountable number of times."

"And I've kicked your ass quite a few of those times." I pointed out. "Well you've been training longer than me! I'm also your Ultimate Friend so, yeah. You're coming with us." Patty told me. My mind was reeling at getting all this information in such a small span of time. "So are we going back to Devil May Cry, which I know nothing about, or are we going to travel around?" I asked. "Travel around. We're going Canon humping!" she fist bumped the air. I'm not sure about Dante or Vergil but I burst out laughing and doubled over. "How….does one….hump…..…Canons?" I asked between laughing and gasping for air. Patty realized her mistake and laughed with me.

"I meant to say we're going canon jumping!" She corrected herself after she had a good laugh about it. "Are you two always like this?" Dante asked with an eyebrow raised. "Like what?" Patty and I chorused. "Insane." Vergil said. "Yes, yes we are." Patty rested her elbow on the top of my head as she answered him. I nodded, wide eyed with a huge grin on my face and my head tilted to one side. Dante and Vergil raised their eyebrows at my expression. I've been told it scares people when I make that particular face. Just to give you a visual of how tall Patty is, I'm 5'6 and she can use my head as an arm rest. She's about 5'11 or so. "So, should we go now?" I asked. "What about your evil little brother?" Patty countered. "He's at a friend's house." I told her. "Damn, I wanted to offer him up as Tribute if we got to the Hunger Games." Patty snapped her fingers and looked slightly disappointed. "Wow, even I'm not that mean to my demonic little brother." I said. She raised an eyebrow. "Most of the time." I added. If you think we're a bit extreme in being mean to him, you've clearly never met my brother or seen how evil he really is. "Okay then. You may want to pack up some clothes and stuff, I did. Oh, and bring your bow and arrows. You need something other than badassery to fight Sues with. I don't know how long we'll be canon surfing." Patty advised me. "Okay, give me ten minutes." I called over my shoulder as I ran up to my room.

Once there I dumped my school supplies out of my backpack. In the largest pocket I packed a few pairs of jeans, a few long sleeved shirts/sweaters, a sweatshirt, two pairs of pajamas, my slippers, a few pairs of socks, and a few short sleeved shirts. I also packed some of my underclothes. Now, if you think this is impossible, I use the roll-up method when I pack clothes and you'd be surprised what you can fit in a backpack when you need to. I then pulled on my boots again and stuffed a pair of purple converse sneakers into the largest pocket with my other stuff. In the next pocket I put my toothbrush, razor, hair brush, mini-shampoos and conditioners, my Ziploc bag full of hair ties and bobby pins, my wallet with about a hundred bucks, my cell phone and charger, my iPod and charger, and headphones. I then zipped up my backpack and got the case that held my custom made traditional style bow and my quiver full of arrows. I've been shooting a bow since I was fourteen. The custom bow was a Christmas present last year.

I shouldered my backpack, picked up my case and ran back down to the living room where Dante, Vergil and Patty were waiting. "Let's hunt some Sues!" I yelled and we piled into the TARDIS. I should probably warn you now; I'm a big Lord of the Rings fan. I liked the movies but quite personally I think the books were so much better. That's probably one of the many, many reasons I find Mary Sues absolutely sickening.

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**Meepalicious' Author's note: Okay I probably just confused the hell out of all of you! This is Meepalicious here. Some of you may know me from my Lord of the Rings fanfiction 'Of UNO and Thunderstorms' or from my appearances in Nat's 'So, do we still kill zombies?' That was the first chapter of a fanfiction collaboration between myself and gNat2. Gabriella is me and Patty is Natalie. We had this idea when we were hanging out at my house and thought it would be pretty fun. In case you haven't gotten the idea, we'll be hopping around a bunch of canons and fighting Mary Sues, collecting canon characters from all over the place to help us along the way. Eventually we'll have a merry band of misfits fighting against sickeningly perfect and/or magical demon bitches! Saying the name Mary Sue sends chills down my spine! *shudders* They're just that awful! By the way, this is rated T because of swearing and mild violence. Anyway! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

**gNat2: Well. That was her part of our story. I'm sorry for the big Author's Note in the middle of the story. This is just a break to show which part is Meep's and which part is mine. Well, time for my part. Go wannabe 12****th**** Doctor Patty!**

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**Patricia's POV**

Damn English, making me do a quarterly book project! I ended up doing _Murder on Orient Express _by Agatha Christie. I look down the list on what possible choices I have to do this dumb idea. There's the iPhone app one, where we have to make at least seven make up or real apps explaining why is it relevant to the book. Another is a creative poster where you make this lovey dovey poster if we haven't did it last quarter (I did for the book _Blood Ninja _by Chris Lake. Ended up a perfect 100 and shown at this big gallery for the best projects and works students did.) and there's a make a movie trailer video. That's my ideal plan. Plus I have the entire winter break to do it, I love it when things go to plan.

"Why does my bus stop always have to be so far from my home?" I groaned to myself. I then think of my best friend who happens to be in a few towns over. "Why do all my friends have to live so far?" I whined again. I walked up the stairs to my side door, pausing to find my keys. I inserted the key into the slot, turned it, and pushed it forcefully due to its oldness. The sound of a jingling bell from a distance got louder as a furry creature with his ears and tail perked up runs up to meet me.

"Hey there, fat cat." I rubbed his head. This is my lovely cat, Sherman. A nice little purr factory this cute thing is. I have another cat, Layla, but she's shy and always sleeping under my parent's bed. I think she'll be there for a while since my parents are out on their trip to New Orleans while I'm stuck on Long Island. Yipee-kai-ay, motherfuckers! I then hear some sort of sound, a very unusual sound.

_Whoosh_

_Whoooosh_

It sounds like an engie. I followed the noise through the small hallway and through the window of my parent's room. There's just my small backyard and you can see my neighbor's backyard through the bushes if you look really hard, and some blue box-

Wait.

A blue box.

I never had a big blue box in my backyard before.

I grabbed my sweat jacket and ran back outside through my side door to get a closer look at the blue box. It looks like a vintage police box you see on the streets of England.

Hold on, my mind is actually thinking when it's not to. We have a British police box, makes a whooshing noise, and appears out of nowhere. It may be the police box from _Doctor Who. _How do I know? Me being the one who doesn't wait 'til the end of suspenseful music, I opened the door to see some weird machine in the center of this small box.

"What they say is right, it is bigger on the inside. Patricia Gitin, you are one lucky person." I pushed back some strands of my hair behind my ear. It was really like something out of a science fiction movie, it has that odd design, those weird buttons and handles, plus some weird language I spotted. There is only one question remains, where is The Doctor and slash or his campanion(s)? Why is there the 11th Doctor's sonic screwdriver and psychic paper by the control pad unattended?

"Holy Norris, Batman." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. If you think what I think is happening, we know what happens next.

"Let's put this baby on a test drive, shall we?" I told myself. "But first, let me grab something in case of something like this." I ran back inside, quickly grabbed the item I needed, and closed myself inside the time machine. Looking for a mirror, I put my lucky fez on. "Damn I look cool." I laughed, pulling down my Stuck in Your Radio tee and adjusting my lovely hat. "Let's get down to business then." I started pressing buttons and pulled down the lever, making the TARDIS make that same whooshing sound as before.

"I have no idea where I'm going. But I hope they have a professional at something useful…" I said outloud again. I really need to stop that.

-insert Doctor Who opening sequence here-

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**Patricia Gitin**

**Gabbi Kochie**

**with Dante and Vergil**

**in DOCTOR WHO**

**"Canon humping."**

**Directed by Pinkie Pie.**

**-sequence end-**

**gNat2: I can see it now! The next chapter will be entirely written by me since I cut off my part because I hate one loooong chapter. It's sooo boring! Unless you're Meepalicious. The next chapter will show how did I encounter Dante and Vergil from the well known video game Devil May Cry.  
**

**This is probably an embarrassing fun fact. When Meep and I were together, finishing up the order of fandoms to travel to and talked out the beginning, I yelled out as we got to the TARDIS in her basement, "We're going canon-humping!" Which resulted in my friend losing air in her lungs from laughing too hard. How am I supposed to hide the body now? It's alright, I'll blame her brother.**

**Critiques are always welcome! All flames shall be directed to the Daleks who'll plan to exterminate you within 24 hours. Ciao!**

**Meepalicious: See ya soon!**


	2. How it all started part 2

**gNat2: This is Doctor Who fanfiction archive in a nutshell.**

**9th Doctor/Rose**

**Mary Sue Companions (Not Rose) paired up with one of the three rebooted Doctors**

**Set during/post/before Pond's Life**

**gNat2: Be creative, guys! Can the Daleks...take over Cuba during the Cold War and help the Soviets? Or an alternate scene where Oswin Oswald somehow lived (I liked her. She was pretty cool.) in human form and freed herself from the Asylum of the Daleks? Can there be a Slender mod where you're being chased by a Weeping Angel? I would love that...**

**Now the next fandom we'll jump into is probably most of you know and hate...no, it's not the My Immortal universe of Harry Potter. The main character herself is a Mary Sue. Not 50 Shades of Grey...But whatever! I got homework to do. Later!**

**gNat2 or Meepalicious do not own any fandoms that make a cameo in this story, just our OC personas.**

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**Patricia's POV**

After a few moments the blue box's whirling came to a stop. "Alright, I'm somewhere." I said to no one as I tried to figure out where I am. I peeked outside to see a nice little urban town. There were some people passing by doing whatever they needed to do and never notice the odd police box in the middle of an alleyway.

Getting out was just the easy part. Now what am I going to do? Where am I? Fine, let some 18-year-old girl with a dumb (flinch) hat walk around and be lost. Genius, Pat!

Even so, it was kinda cold. I zipped up my grey sweat jacket as I continued to walk down the street and took random turns on the corner. I came across a place called 'Love Planet' with your average share of men hopefully scoring and getting drunk as the day starts to darken. Every now and then you can see some women in _very _skimpy clothing hang out outside, some getting picked up by wasted customers.

Feeling an uneasy vibe, I tried to walk away from the messed up whore house. Note the keyword _tried_. I was grabbed by the arm and pulled into a dark alley, quickly pinned to the wall shortly after. My captive had cold hands and stared down at me with ruby eyes and sharp teeth glowing in the moonlight. "Well hello there, love." He said in a British accent. "I never thought I see someone like you near such a filthy place. What naughty thing you are." He cooed in my ear. "I have no idea who you are, but I need you to let go of me!" I yelled at him. He just stared at me in a seductive way (which makes me want to puke in my mouth.) before I used swift kick! It was uneffective.

Stranger used leer!

Then a loud noise cracked my ears and the strange person fell limp on the ground. What the heck just happened? He was trying to rape me one moment and then he was dead the next. Plus that bullet made the guy's blood splatter all over me! Luckily my fez was unharmed at all, that or the blood is absorbed into it.

"Wreckless as always, brother." A cold voice said. There was a friendly laugh before another guy said, "Lighten up, Vergil. We saved some chick from one of those demons that keep appearing recently." I looked to my side to see two silhouettes, one slightly taller than the other. "This is the fourth demon spawn we killed today, yet we aren't getting paid for this!" The second voice told the first. "On the other hand, she has a cool hat."

"Thanks!" I told them. "It's called a fez, for your information." The two figures stood there for an awfully long time. I looked back at the dead body and asked, "What is that?" "We have no idea. Those bastards appeared a few days ago, most were hard to kill but this one was a weak demon." Thinking of something, I pulled out the sonic screwdriver and quickly hovered it on top of the corpses and flipped the thing sideways. "It's apparently a Gary Sue. Half human, half demon. Perfect teeth, perfect looks, perfect personality, this place is going to be in ruins soon enough." I told him. "I'm Patricia, just call me Patty." I turned back to the two men.

They stepped forward to show their white hair, one of them had a blue jacket and his hair slicked back in a pointy way. The other white haired guy had a red jacket on. "My name's Dante." Man in red said, he then pointed to the guy in blue. "That's my brother, Vergil. Don't mind him being a stick in the mud." He added in, only getting an elbow from said brother.

"So you guys are probably thinking 'Why the heck some random young adult wearing a weird hat and some weird contraption thingy doing here?', well the thing is…I'm not from here." I said. "I'm from another…universe, let's say. Every universe exist in some way in another universe. In my world, this world is considered a video game." I continued on.

"What's it called? Dante the sexy demon hunter?" The game's protagonist smirked, only to get another blow from his brother. Thanks, Vergil. "Actually, it's just Devil May Cry. Like your shop! There's four games out so far and a reboot coming in January. Vergil dies in the third game but comes back in the reboot, and the fourth game this new guy named Nero shows up and his best friend slash crush dies. Still a better love story than Twilight, though." I feel really nerdy now. It was hard to contain my excitement. "Now enough about me, follow me to see…my spaceship…" I got in between them and try to remembered where I came from.

**~To the TARDIS~**

"It's just a blue box." Dante complained as he observed the TARDIS. "It's bigger on the inside, trust me." I told him back, opening up the said machine. The brothers had surprised and somewhat confused looks on their faces.

"Let me get this straight, this thing can travel through time?" Dante continued his a million question run. "Isn't it just a line?" Oh boy, he set himself for the greatest quote ever! *Ahem* "Well…not really. People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but _actually_, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a…big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff." I somehow managed to nail it.

"Timey Wimey stuff?" Vergil repeated. "Exactly! Also, it can go through space. So we can go to an alien planet or an alternate universe. We'll be going to A LOT of them, but we need to make one final stop first." Pressing some buttons, I made the arrangements to the next destination to someone who will be important to our journey (Plus I don't want to travel with two demon hunters alone).

As the engine started one of the brothers asked, "Are you sure you know where you're going?" Which was replied by me as, "Hopefully!" As the machine started rumbling about. "I recommend holding onto something."

Within moments, the rumbling stop as we probably landed somewhere. "What was that?" Dante asked. "That was dimension traveling, and if I'm right, we should be in the living room of my best friend Gabriella or Gabbi as most call her." "Well in this case, luck is on your side!" A very fake British voice called out from outside. I gasped in excitement and ran out, hugging my smaller friend in a death grip and somehow landed on the couch. Oh friendship…

So after I explained about the TARDIS and the half demon brothers and her grabbing her weapon and (unneeded) bag of stuff, we entered the blue box again.

"Alright, I have brought my fantasy A-Team together to bring you to the news on why I assembled you here." I went on. "In every universe there seems to be an outstanding boost in populations in the female gender. Most of these girls have shiny hair, perfect body physiques, somehow linked to someone who exists in the dimension, and so on. These 'things' are so perfect, they cannot be stopped and frowned upon this universe since they are considered fictional. They are dubbed Mary Sue, sometimes Gary Sue if a guy, which was started from the Star Trek universe with a 15 year old Lieutenant which her name is so long, we shorten it to Mary Sue." I explained. I got three confused looks back. "In short terms. We kill Sues in multiple fandoms to save every universe that exists from stupidity and something more."

Gabbi clapped her hands together. "Sounds like a plan. Let's go hunt some Sues!"

…

"Also, where do we go first?"

"I know _exactly_ where we're going. Allons-y!"

"Do we have to call you Doctor now?"

"…If you want to. The Doctor recommends it."

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**gNat2: Here's a heads up. Meep is working on the fandom AFTER the one we're going to and it'll be so long, we have to break it up into smaller bits. She really, really loves the fandom she's working on. Her younger brother got into it but doesn't like the gory parts. He should watch True Blood and Game of Thrones, it's like Supernatural...but with sex (and dragons if you're thinking Game of Thrones. I wonder if a lot of people die in Supernatural who made various cameos.).**

**Meep, Y U NO WATCH DOCTOR WHO? IT HAS ALIENS, AND A COOL OPENING, AND BOWTIES! Do I have to drag your ass to the Paley Center?**

**Meepalicious:...Yea.**


	3. Still a better love story

**gNat2:We're back! You'll probably never notice this due to the multiple Christmas related fics this archive has. That or someone in denial and alternating the end of 'Angels take Manhattan' But expect a huge update thanks to Meep's imagination of the next fandom after this.**

**Meep:So I went a little overboard...**

**gNat2: Quote on 'little'. This part...was hard. I hated this fandom, I still do! I was basically procrastinating on writing this so I had to shove it in Meep's face and say, "Finish it!" So she did and I was like "Flawless victory!" and yea...Fatality!**

**Happy f*cking Thanksgiving from gNat2 and Meepalicious!**

**Meep: MEEP!**

**WE OWN NOTHING!**

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We landed (again) to another location. "Where are we this time?" Asked Dante. "I might be the one driving it, but I have no idea. We could be anywhere! In another planet, in the future, at the end of time and space, the list is endless. Who wants to go first?"

Silence fell upon us. "SHOT NOT!" Dante yelled. "God damn it Dante, SHOT NOT!" I shouted. Gabbi quickly shot not, leaving Vergil the sacrifice of the new location. "Just open the door, it won't bite…much." I called after him as he leaves for the door with us following shortly behind. The door open and we were instantly breathing in shit.

"Close it!" I shouted.

"What was that smell? Justin Bieber's perfume?" Gab coughed.

"I'm guessing it's his decomposing corpse. Either way, we need to get out and see where we are." I pushed everyone out and walked into a forest. The forest itself was…mysterious, dark and depressing in a way. I think we're in the Forbidden Forest, therefore in the Harry Potter fandom! Sweet!

Suddenly some girl with REALLY pale skin and shiny brown hair appeared out of nowhere. It also looks like she experimented what happens when you put the gun in the oven.

"Have you seen my husband, Edward? He's tall, strong, sparkles, not to mention a vampire. I'm carrying his child and I need to be like him in order to live." Then she just walks off.

That was just…strange.

"Did she say Edward? As in Edward Cullen?" Gab spoke. "No, Edward Elric. What other Edward is there?" I responded.

"I'm getting confused by the minute!" Dante got in the conversation. "That's a side effect, it'll wear off." I said, then I gasped.

"Look! Footprints!" Sure enough, there were random sets of feet setting up a trail. Flashing my screwdriver over it, Gabbi caught the drift and asked, "Please don't tell me…" "I'm sorry, but the Kardashians are in town. LET'S KILL THEM!" I ran in the direction the tracks went. "W-Wait up!" Cried my friend.

**~Later~**

"So what you're saying is that this world has vampires. These vampires aren't nocturnal, don't drink blood, look like celebrities, and _sparkle_?" Dante basically repeated what I just told him as the trail went FOREVER!

"Exactly, which is a cause to effect motion into a breeding ground for Sues. Therefore, we need to perform a mass murder that'll hopefully lead to their extinction." My companion answered the question. "Also, does anyone have goosebumps from the sudden breeze?"

_CRACK!_

The sound of a twig snap made us all face each other back-to-back with whatever weapon we drew first. Gab drew and arrow, waiting to pull it back, Dante and Vergil with their demon slaughtering guns, and me with a sonic screwdriver. How lovely! Not to mention we were suddenly surrounded by people out of NOWHERE! It's like they TOTALLY have super speed –sarcastic meter starts beeping- or something!

"Are these the sparkling vampires you mentioned?" Spoke Vergil. "Yea. Sues all around us." Their sparkling almost blinded us as a cloud decided 'Hey, I want the sun to have light in this place!' and moved to our torture.

One of the Sues had multi colored long hair, wearing a red and black laced corset, the skinniest jeans ever, and 9 inch heels. Ouch.

"What are you doing in OUR territory?" She asked.

I flashed the psychic paper at them. "Don't worry! We're just lone wonderers searching for treasure."

"What treasure?" She growled, fangs exposed.

"The treasure of…Eymaweener."

"Im a..weiner?"

Cue my group (minus Vergil) laughing like idiots. "Classic…" Wheezed Gab.

The vampire girl, who is more pissed than last time, was about to say something, then a _BOOM, CRASH _sound was heard. Next thing you know, the vampire girl lies on the ground lifelessly (oxymoron) and her friends come to lie on the ground as well. "Well, that escalated quickly. " I said. "Who shot them?"

"Wasn't me!" Gab placed her arrow back and dropped her bow as the twins drew back their guns. "You would've known it was me like, 10 seconds ago!" She backed herself up. "Obviously arrows can make a loud crack unless you're Robin Hood." I darted my eyes to the brothers. Vergil just gave me the coldest stare ever, "If it was me, they would've been dead when they appeared." He finally spoke, THE SILENT ASS TALKS! "Also, Dante would've been reckless and use more than the needed bullets." The blue coated Sparda added in. "Then…who was it?"

To answer our needed question, a man in a red coat and hat appeared out of nowhere. We couldn't see his eyes through the darkest shade of black hair (Can't wait to find the other 49) because of a small orange lens glasses was being reflected by the unknown light this damn place offered.

"D-Doctor, is that a Sue?" Gabbi asked as we all stared at the random dude who had appeared in the clearing. Just as I was about to answer, the figure decided he wanted to say something to us after killing off all the Sues in our immediate area.

"No, I'm not a Sue!" The dude laughed. Gabbi pulled her arrow back out, knocked it into her bow, and aimed at the dude. "Who are you then? And why did you help us?" Gabbi asked. The dude chuckled. "My name is Alucard. I 'helped' you not because I wanted to help you but because I'm a Sue hunter, and a vampire hunter, and I was going to kill them anyway. This fandom is running wild with what these people call vampires and Sues. Besides, these sparkling fairies give real vampires a bad name." The dude, Alucard, explained and took off his glasses to reveal eyes that were crimson red. I looked back at Dante and Vergil, who just looked confused and wary. Gabbi was staring at Alucard with her pondering face on. Alucard raised an eyebrow at her. Then she grinned as if she'd just won the lottery.

"One would think that after living for thousands upon thousands of years, you'd have come up with a better alias than spelling your name backwards." She told Alucard, who just smirked at her. Gabbi took a huge step away from him. "Someone want to explain what's going on?" Dante asked, annoyed. "Dante, what's Alucard spelled backwards?" Gabbi asked. Vergil and I smirked, finally catching her point.

"Alucard backwards is Dracula but…Oh." Dante finished lamely when the aforementioned vampire badass raised an eyebrow at him. Gabbi, Alucard and I all started snickering and Vergil face-palmed. "Alright, we're Sue Hunters. That brings us all here for the same purpose. What would you say to a temporary alliance, Alucard?" I asked after we stopped laughing at Dante. Gabbi, at this point put her arrow back in her quiver. "So long as your friend doesn't shoot me." Alucard replied with a pointed glare at Gabbi, who rolled her eyes. "I won't. Not unless you give me a reason why I'd have to shoot you." She replied. "Good. I believe we have an accord." I smirked, knowing full well that Gabbi would understand the Pirates of the Caribbean reference, and shaking hands with Alucard.

*Gabbi's POV*

"Would you happen to know where the other Sues in this canon are?" I asked Alucard after he shook hands with Patty. Suddenly, blood curdling screams and wolf howls filled the air. "I do now." Alucard answered, looking in the direction the howl had come from. "Helpful." Patty retorted. Alucard rolled his eyes and motioned for us to follow him. He led us through the forest and the sounds of a battle became much louder. _What the hell is going on over there? _I thought.

Soon we came to a clearing in the forest and saw an epic Supernatural Sue battle going on. There were giant wolves the size of horses and annoying, sparkling, 'perfect', wannabe vampires all trying to kill each other. I picked the girl we'd seen earlier, Bella, out of the crowd. She was sitting on a rock conveniently placed on the other side of the clearing with a good view of the fight with her head in her hands. I rolled my eyes. _What a Sue! _I thought. I also picked out Edward and all the other Cullens and nearly gagged.

"I'm going to assume they're all fighting over Edward, Bella and Jacob respectively." I stated as we watched from the cover of the last few trees before we hit the clearing. "So it would seem." Patty commented. "What's our plan?" Vergil asked. Patty looked at Alucard expectantly. "You're the expert on this crap." She told him when he gave her a weird look. "Just follow my lead." He smirked and leapt into the fray and fighting like a boss. Dante immediately pulled out his sword and jumped into the battle. Vergil rolled his eyes and we followed after the more reckless of the twins.

The battle was utter chaos. Dante and Vergil soon realized that swords were no use on the sparkling vampire wannabes and started taking out the wolves. Patty's sonic screwdriver and psychic paper worked on both wolves and vampires. Whatever Alucard had done to the other vampire Sues was working and half of them were dead before I had shot my second arrow. I fought back to back with Patty most of the time and shot down the wolves. A few vampires came at me but were quickly killed by either Alucard or Patty, whichever of them was closest at the time. It didn't take long to kill all of them. I'm guessing that Alucard got bored after a while and just did his weird Jedi mind trick or whatever it was to kill the Sues that were left. After the battle we all met in the middle of the clearing.

"That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would." I stated. Dante and Vergil nodded in agreement. Alucard snickered. "That, my dear, is because you've never fought with me on your side before." He stated. "Yeah, remind me not to piss you off." Patty commented. "Now what are we going to do?" Dante asked. "We should probably go see where the nearest city is; we need to get some stuff before we hit the next sue-infested canon." Patty answered. "The nearest city is Seattle, which would be about five miles in that direction." Alucard added, pointing west and writing something on a piece of paper and folded it up. "Thanks! What are you going to do now that all the vampires and Sues in this canon are dead?" I asked. "I am going to hunt vampires in some other fandom. Perhaps we'll all meet again one day. Good bye!" Alucard told us. "Bye." Patty and I chorused as Alucard left. He dropped something on the ground as he did. I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"He was pretty cool. Kinda sorta creepy, but much cooler than I thought Dracula would be." Dante commented once he was gone. "Ah, but he wasn't Dracula. He was Alucard. And yeah, he was a badass." I corrected. "Is there a difference?" Vergil asked. "Probably." I answered. "Okay, let's hit Seattle and then get the hell out of here." Patty changed the subject. "Hang on a minute, I think Alucard dropped something." I said as I went over to see what he'd dropped before he left. My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when I picked up two fifty dollar bills folded in a piece of paper. I handed the money to Patty and read the note out loud.

"'For you to wash up and get the stench of Sue off you. Good luck! ~Alucard'. If we see him again, remind me to pay him back for this." I said upon finishing the note. "I don't think we're going to see him again. But I say we take his advice and rent a motel room so we can shower quickly before we leave." Patty told me. We all agreed that that was the best idea we had, so we walked to Seattle, rented a motel room so we could shower, picked up some stuff at a supermarket, and then went back to the TARDIS.

"Well, you guys know the drill now. Hang on to something and always trust The Doctor!" Patty yelled as she pushed some random buttons and pulled a lever.

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**Meep's Author's note: I know that was short but I hate Twilight. Nat and I both do, so why we went there is a mystery to me. But yeah, Alucard's appearance was Natalie's idea and she let me go crazy with it. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

**gNat2: A round of applause for the obvious OOC Alucard! -crowd goes wild- and thank you Meep for helping me out on the world's worst fandom being exterminated...Nope, no Dalek here...**

**Dante: So...about those fifty bucks...**

**gNat2: NO. Bad Dante -water spray-**


	4. Greenleaf and Winchester DONT mix!

**Meep: -latch hug- Has anyone told you you're awesome?**

**gNat2: ...why?**

**Meep: You let me write my favorite fandom...and I have multiple chapters of it! -evil laugh-**

**Sam: She's gone Super-psycho-natural again...**

**Dean: I got it -delatches Meep- hopefully.**

**Dante: -stares twins down- So you also kill demons?**

**Dean: Well, in a way...**

**gNat2: I have NO idea what goes on in the fandom, but I'm turning the wheel to Meep!**

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN PATTY, DANTE, VERGIL, OR SAM AND DEAN WINCHESTER OR ANYTHING ELSE FROM SUPERNATURAL! God could you imagine if I did? *Insert evil laughter* ANYWAY! I ONLY OWN MYSELF!**

Chapter Whatever the hell this one is!

Gabbi POV

When the TARDIS landed again after our misadventures in Twilight, I shook my head and stumbled a bit as I tried to get up. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to that." I told no one in particular. "I don't think any of us are." Vergil mumbled. "Anyway, we should probably see what canon we landed in now and what kind of Sues we're going to have to fight here." Patty steered the topic away from the weird feeling you get when you canon hop in the TARDIS. "Please don't tell me they're all going to explode into sparkles and pixie dust when we kill them." I made a face and unsuccessfully tried to remove the multi colored fairy dust and sparkles from my clothes and hair. "Nope, they all do that." Dante gave me a slightly sympathetic look. "Well, shit." I mumbled.

"I say Patty and Gabbi go check out the surrounding area for signs of Sues and Vergil and I go see if there are any places nearby where we can shower and clean up." Dante suggested. "I'm cool with that. Where are we going to get the money to pay for motel rooms? I mean, I've got some cash but not enough for a motel room." I answered. "I've got money." Patty assured me. As to how she had money, I'm not sure I want to know. Dante and Vergil agreed and the two guys left the police box for a little bit. While they were gone I decided to pull my hair back again just in case there were Sues that needed to be killed immediately. Some of those bitches fight dirty and I didn't want my hair to be within their reach. First, I brushed the sparkles and crap out. Then I took a small front section and Dutch lace braided it to the back of my head. Then I pulled the rest of my hair into a tight ponytail and wrapped the braid around the pony tail holder, bobby pinning it underneath my pony tail. This is what I do when I go shooting at my archery range and when I go to Ju Jitsu training. Somehow it survives.

"We landed somewhere in a forest in someplace called Minnesota. There's a town with a hotel about a mile north with a cheap motel where we can shower and clean up." Vergil informed us when he and Dante got back. "Sweet! I can't wait to get the smell of about 50 billion flowers and sparkly shit off me!" I exclaimed. At the same time Patty mumbled to herself, "Great, scenic nowhere."

"Some of the people here seem a bit on edge for some reason." Dante added. "Maybe there are Sues here and they're terrorizing the civilians." Patty suggested. "I don't know if they'd do that normally. Maybe they're looking for someone? Could you guys go check us into that motel while Patty and I go look for anything along the lines of demon bitches?" I asked, putting on my boots and grabbing my bow and quiver. Hey, ya never know. Patty just put her sonic screwdriver in her pocket and a butterfly knife I didn't know she had. "Sure. Just be careful." Dante and Vergil warned us in unison.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll be fine!" Patty waved her hand at them, grabbed our sweatshirts, two flashlights, which along with some other stuff I won't mention right now we'd picked up in Seattle before we left Twilight, and dragged me outside. We put on the sweatshirts and stuffed the flashlights in our sweatshirt pockets. They were small-ish flashlights so they weren't too noticeable. The only thing out of the ordinary about us was the fact that I was carrying a bow and had a quiver on my back. The sun was setting in the west and the forest seemed a bit eerie. The trees were bare, it was cold and the daytime animals were all making their way home. It must have been winter. If you looked up, the occasional bird of prey could be seen soaring through the sky. There were some weird dark clouds in the east. It was still heaven for an outdoorsy type, though very nerdy girl who was born and raised in a small town in New York. A girl like me. I stared around at everything, on high alert in case of sues, but also enjoying the scenery and just the feeling of being outside.

"You're freaking in heaven right now aren't ya Gabbi?" Patty asked after a moment. "Uh-huh." I nodded slowly. "Sometimes I swear that you were born in the wrong universe. You should be a freaking elf. They love nature and crap don't they?" Patty shook her head and continued to watch me. Oh my poor uneducated-in-the-ways-of-Lord of the Rings best friend. See? Nerdy! "I'm too devious, kinda mean, and clumsy and I swear _way_ too much to be an elf." I told her, trying not to laugh. "And your ears aren't pointy." Patty added. "That too! And I think I'd annoy the living shit out of some of them." I replied. "Why would you annoy them?" my friend asked. "I hang out with you. You have a habit of knowing exactly how to piss people off. It rubs off on me." I said sarcastically. "Can't argue there!" Patty snarked. We laughed and continued making our way south.

Suddenly there was the sound of a twig cracking somewhere off to my left, then a pair of feet running towards us. "Hide!" Patty hissed. I ducked behind an enormous tree and waited, nervously fiddling with one of my purple-feathered arrows. The running stopped almost as suddenly as it started. I risked a glance out from my hiding spot to see a woman about 20-something years old and almost as tall as Patty with golden blonde hair that shone in the fading light and had, likely natural, auburn red highlights, leather boots with like 3 inch heels, super tight skinny jeans, a tight red tank top and a denim jacket. The chick was also decently tan and had dinner plate sized bright blue eyes, tomato red lips and eyelashes that would put Maybelline commercials to shame. She was so definitely a Sue it wasn't even funny. Not only did her appearance ooze Sue-ness but who the hell else would be able to run through the woods in 3 inch heels? I grimaced. The overwhelming smell of vanilla hit me like a ton of bricks and I gagged silently as I looked over to a nearby tree where Patty was hiding. 'She's practically the definition of a Sue.' I mouthed. 'No shit Sherlock' she mouthed back. 'Fuck you Watson.' I replied. 'Bite me.' Patty rolled her eyes. 'What should we do?' I mouthed to Patty. 'Hopefully she doesn't have any superpowers and would unknowingly tell us what canon we're in' she suggested. I nodded and together we walked out of our hiding spots and towards the twisted creation of some insane fangirl's mind. She was still a good ten yards away, I didn't want to get too close. Somehow we were in a clearing now. I'm gonna blame it on Mary Sue bitch powers.

"Who are you two?" the bitch sneered, perfectly of course, and her voice that was probably supposed to sound perfect and musical or some shit like that held an arrogant tone that made me want to slap her. I raised an eyebrow and glared at her. "My name is Gabriella and my friend here is Patricia. Now who the hell are you and what in the name of all things awesome are you running from?" I gave the Sue our full names. I would definitely puke if I heard her call me Gabbi. "My name is Dakota Marisella Phoebe Raven Sofia Starshine Greenleaf Winchester." She introduced herself. _*cue meme face with sunglasses* Mother of God. How many freaking names is that?! Eight! DAMN! Wait, did she just say Greenleaf and Winchester in the same sentence? I'm gonna slap this bitch into next Tuesday if she did. _Patty and I both shuddered. "I was running because…" The Sue trailed off and her bugged out eyes suddenly became angst-y and sad. _Someone please kill me now. _"Dean Winchester, my one true love, thinks I'm some awful creature called a Mary Sue and he and his brother are chasing me. I don't know why!" She finished dramatically and started tearing up. _BECAUSE YOU ARE ONE! You're also a dramatic bitch but that's beside the point. Wait, she said Dean Winchester. That means we're in Supernatural. If that's the case then why the hell did whoever made her up give her the last name Greenleaf? GAAH! Can't. Understand. Awful. Fanfiction. Authors. MEEP!_

'Should I just shoot her and save Sam and Dean the trouble of dealing with her any longer?' I mouthed to Patty while Dakota Marisella whatever the hell her name is just looked into the sunset sadly as huge multi-colored tears spilled down her face. Somehow her eyes weren't red and puffy, she wasn't a total mess and she wasn't all out of breath and sobbing. Bitch. 'Please do. I feel bad for Sam and Dean. And I don't even know them.' Patty mouthed. I took a deep breath and drew an arrow, knocked it and aimed at the Sue's throat. I released the arrow and the Sue moved out of the way at lightning speed. My arrow went flying off into the woods somewhere. In the words of Pewdiepie, 'Son of a asshole!'

"Why you bitch! How dare you try and kill me! Especially with a weapon like that! A bow and arrows? Seriously? Where are we, the Middle Ages? Sweetie, this is the Twenty-first century." the Sue started telling me off. I rolled my eyes and Patty started making faces to mock her. "Just for the record, his last name isn't Greenleaf, its Thrandullion. You should try reading the freaking books. Assuming you know what a good book is." I said sarcastically. "You just got told." Patty added, taking out her sonic screwdriver. "What are you talking about? His name is Legolas Greenleaf! What gives you the nerve to think you can correct me! And I know what a good book is! I've read the Twilight series!" She went on and on until she noticed Patty's screwdriver. I made a face. _She thinks Twilight is good? There is SERIOUSLY something wrong with this bitch. I would head-desk if I could. _"What is that supposed to do?! So are you just going to brain me with a screwdriver? Ha!" The Sue started laughing uncontrollably, yet somehow managed to look absolutely perfect. I glared at the Sue and shot her between the eyes to keep Patty from torturing her with her sonic screwdriver. I'm actually surprised there was space between her eyes; they were that huge. It was creepy.

The bitch exploded into a huge cloud of red pixie dust and sparkles, leaving my arrow on the ground. Patty and I started coughing and gagging as the wind blew the sickeningly sweet vanilla scented crap towards us. I picked up my arrow, shook the Sue dust off it and stuck it back into my quiver. "We should probably find where that other arrow went." Patty told me. "Yeah, probably. By the way, we're in Supernatural. That means we should prepare ourselves for the freaking apocalypse." I managed to choke out. Way too much vanilla. We headed started across the clearing in search of my stray arrow when we heard more feet coming our way. "Oh no! Not another one!" Patty groaned. Then there was a distinctly male voice saying something that we couldn't quite make out. "There aren't Gary Sues in this canon are there?" Patty asked, horrified. "Not that I know of, then again, I wouldn't know." I answered, just as terrified. The voice got louder and closer and I was finally able to make out the words.

"Dean! I heard some shouting off in this direction. You think we should check it out?" one voice asked. "Yeah, yeah. Hopefully we'll find that damn Mary Sue and just be done with it. Maybe whoever else is there would know whose arrow this is. Who the hell hunts with arrows anymore anyway?" another voice replied. _My arrow! Hang on a second. I know those voices. Holy shit! That's Sam and Dean! HA! They hate Sues too! Take that Dakota Marisella Phoebe Raven Sofia Starshine Greenleaf Winchester! Damn that's a mouthful! It's a shame really, I like the name Dakota. _

"Well, now what do we do?" Patty asked loudly, probably trying to get Sam and Dean's attention. "How in the hell should I know? We still need to find my arrow!" I yelled the last bit, catching on to her plan. "Seriously though, now what? You're the smart one." Patty whispered to me. "I don't know everything." I whispered back. "Obviously not." Patty rolled her eyes. "Jerk." I glared at her. "Bitch." She replied. I smiled at the unconscious, at least on Patty's part, Supernatural quote. "What's with the creepy smile?" Patty asked me. "We just quoted the show Supernatural." I stated. "Did you do it on purpose?" Patty continued. "I did. I didn't know you'd respond with the other half of the quote though." I answered. "That's weird." Patty commented. "I know." I replied a split second after she finished the sentence. "No one ever said we were normal." I added as an afterthought. We laughed.

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**Meep's Author's note: Muahahaha! Cliffhanger! I'm evil and I know it! READ AND REVIEW PLE-**

**gNat2: -barricading the door-**

**Meep: What's going on.**

**gNat2: IT'S THE REVIEWERS, THEY'RE REQUESTING HOMESTUCK!**


	5. The cake is a lie

**gNat2: I'm sorry I couldn't update early. I was but-**

**-le new ex-communicated series was uploaded-**

**..yea. Three guys screwing around in Minecraft...blumpkins and horse orgies included.**

**Meep: What the hell is a blumpkin?**

**gNat2: Shouldn't you be...guarding the door from the Homestuck fans?**

**Meep: ...crap.**

* * *

In case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SHOWS/MOVIES/BOOKS/ANYTHING!**

**PATTY OWNS HERSELF AND I OWN MYSELF!**

Chapter whatever number we're up to

Gabbi POV

Suddenly there was a cracking sound coming from the woods on our left. A second later there was the sound of leaves or bushes rustling on our other side. Patty and I turned around so we were back to back; Patty in a fighting stance and me with an arrow knocked in my bow and my fingers already in position on the string. After a moment a dude wearing a flannel shirt and a jacket, jeans and boots came out of the woods and faced me. Almost immediately I pulled back my bowstring and aimed at the guy's chest. He was somewhere around a foot taller than me and had long-ish brown hair, sideburns and brown puppy dog eyes. Did I mention the fact that he had a gun? Said gun was currently aimed at me. Who do you think is going to win this fight? Yeah, my money's on Sam too.

"Damn it! Why is everyone here taller than me?" I muttered to myself. "Ha! Shorty!" Patty laughed. "This is _so not_ the time Patty." I growled. "Whoa! Hey! Don't shoot! I'm pretty sure we've got something of yours." A voice I recognized as Dean said from behind me. I whirled around and faced him, my bow still up and ready to fire. "I'm pretty sure this is yours. Here ya go, Katniss." He held the arrow out to me. I put the arrow I'd been aiming at him away and walked over to him to get the other one. "Thanks. Just for future reference, the name's Gabbi. Not Katniss." I told him as I put my arrow back in my quiver and walked back over to Patty. Dean smirked and put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright, I think we've all gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm Sam Winchester. That's my brother Dean." Sam stated, gesturing to Dean. "Now what the hell are two teenage girls doing all the way out here this late? And why do you have a freaking bow and arrows?" Dean continued. "Funny, we could ask you the same question. Just minus the teenage girls and bow parts." Patty commented. "That's none of your business." Dean replied. "See! I told you you've got a habit of pissing people off!" I pointed at Patty as I said this. "My name is Gabriella; though I prefer being called Gabbi. My friend here is Patricia, or Patty. Our, uh business, is kinda hard to explain right now. Your turn. What are you two doing out here?" I asked. "That's kinda hard to explain." Sam answered. I raised an eyebrow at them. "Oh for the love of shit! We're here on a hunt for Mary Sues! You know that annoyingly perfect blonde chick you were after? She's one of them. I'm pretty sure you already knew that though. We're hunting them because they're screwing up the universe. Gabbi shot her and she exploded into sparkles and pixie dust." Patty exclaimed, pointing over to the pile of red pixie dust not too far from us. Sam and Dean just raised their eyebrows at us.

"Yeah, it's kinda the apocalypse." I commented. "Why are you two going after them?" Dean asked. "If we don't, who will?" Patty answered. Sam and Dean shrugged. "Also, we probably should have told you before but we're from another world." I stated casually. "What?" Sam raised an eyebrow at us. "Yeah, we're kinda travelling to different dimensions to hunt Mary Sues. It all started in our world when the TARDIS from Doctor Who randomly appeared in my backyard. I then put on a fez and travelled to a video game called Devil May Cry. There, two dudes named Dante and Vergil were having Sue issues. I helped them out a little and we then went back to my world to find Gabbi, landing in her basement." Patty started.

"Scaring the living crap out of me in the process." I added. Patty stuck her tongue out at me before continuing the story. "Then I made her pack up a bunch of stuff and come with us because I needed someone like her. Gabbi I'm gonna brag about you now." Patty told me. I face-palmed. "She's really good with that bow of hers. The freaking Sue moved at freaking light speed and the arrow went flying off somewhere. That's why you found it. She's also a brown belt in Ju Jitsu and could probably judo through me right now if I asked her to." Patty continued. To prove her point, and because I like messing with her, I grabbed her arm and judo threw her. "Bitch." She muttered.

"Kinda like that." I looked back to Sam and Dean after helping Patty up. "Yeah, she also hates Mary Sues with a passion and needed an excuse to go hunt them. So after that the TARDIS decided to be a pain in the ass and drop us right smack in the middle of Twilight." Patty paused when I shuddered. "Oh it wasn't that bad!" Patty smacked my shoulder. "Yes it was. They freaking sparkled. That's not supposed to happen." I whispered, shuddering again. "So anyway, after fighting off a bunch of Sues in Twilight, the TARDIS brought Gabbi, Dante Vergil and I here. Dante and Vergil went into town and we came out here looking for Sues. We found one, shot her and the rest you already know. We're planning on hunting down as many Sues as we can here, then going to wherever the TARDIS decides to take us next and hopefully find the head Sue bitch and take her out." Patty finished, leaving both Winchesters looking at us like we were completely bonkers. I almost laughed at their expressions.

"Well, now I've heard everything." Dean commented. I just chuckled. "Now what?" I asked randomly. "I'm not so sure I believe you two." Sam eyed us warily. Dean nodded in agreement. I glanced over at Patty. She nodded. "Fair enough. Come with us." I stated as Patty turned and left. Sam and Dean exchanged 'WTF?' looks, but followed us through the forest. "Uh, Gabbi? Do you remember where we parked the TARDIS?" Patty asked. "Did you seriously forget?" I laughed. "Yeah, kinda." She said. _Oh my God! _I thought as I shook my head and took the lead. We walked through the woods for a little bit longer and finally found the big blue police box.

"See? It wasn't that hard!" I told Patty, pointing at the box. She gave me a look, which I returned and we had an epic stare-off. Eventually Patty burst out laughing. "I win!" I fist pumped the air triumphantly. "Yeah so, this is the TARDIS. Don't worry! It's bigger on the inside!" Patty told Sam and Dean as we walked in. I went over to Patty's backpack, which she had packed full of stuff, pulled out her laptop, and handed it to her, knowing she would probably want to watch anime until Dante and Vergil got back. She took it and sat down on the floor.

"Believe us now?" I asked, seeing Sam's and Dean's shocked faces. "Yeah. We just needed some proof." Dean replied. I shrugged. "Do you have any idea where Dante and Vergil are?" Patty looked up from her laptop. "Not a clue. Maybe they got caught up with some Sues?" I answered. "What should we do?" she asked. "They'll come back soon. Besides, we don't know our way around the town. We should probably wait here." I told her.

"So, about your world, what's it like there?" Sam asked. "Basically the same as here. Just take out all the Sues and crap." Patty answered, typing rapidly on her laptop. "What the hell are you looking up?" I asked her. "Hetalia." She said simply. "Oh God." I replied. "What's Hetalia?" Dean asked, probably seeing the 'Dude seriously?' face I gave Patty. "It's an anime in which countries are portrayed as people. There's no real plot and it's extremely stereotypical. For example, they all have the accents of the country they represent, the British guy can't cook for shit and practices magic, the Italian guys are suckish drivers who love pizza and pasta and one of them swears in almost every sentence. The German guy has blonde hair and blue eyes and loves beer. The Russian guy ends every other sentence with 'da?', The French guy is a total perv and always fights with the British guy, and the American guy is loud and is never seen without a hamburger. And the Austrian guy loves classical music. Oh and the Chinese guy carries around a panda. It's quite possibly one of the weirdest things on the internet. I love it!" I explained. Patty was laughing her ass off at the way I finished that explanation. Dean laughed a little bit, but was suddenly interested in the show and started watching it with Patricia. I laughed my ass off.

"So you, Patty and those two other guys are going up against an uncountable number of Mary Sues on your own?" Sam asked me. "Yeah pretty much. Do you know if there are a lot of them around here?" I replied. "They follow us everywhere. Usually we just leave town, but this one was really, uh, persistent. We would have killed her had you two not gotten to her first." He answered. "Well that sucks. And they don't just bother you two. They're in almost every canon, err fictional universe. They screw up everything that's supposed to happen, usually have weird superpowers and are sickeningly perfect. That one we found in the forest, the blonde, was probably a lower level Sue." I said. Sam made a face.

"Yeah, they can actually get worse." Patty added. "They can?" Dean asked. Apparently they'd been listening to us and watching Hetalia at the same time. I nodded. Suddenly the door to the TARDIS burst open and in came Dante and Vergil. "Sorry we're late. We came across a bunch of Sues." Dante explained. "It's cool. Sam, Dean. This is Dante and Vergil. Dante, Vergil. This is Sam and Dean. Did you find out anything?" I quickly introduced everyone. "They've got a secret headquarters hidden in the woods outside town. There's supposed to be a meeting of some sort in two days at noon." Vergil stated.

"How the hell did you know that?" Dean asked. "More importantly, who did you torture to find that out?" I asked, wide eyed. Dante rolled his eyes. "We didn't technically torture her. One of the ones we found begged us for mercy. She said she'd tell us anything so we had her tell us everything she knew." He replied. "And then of course you killed her." Patty added. Vergil nodded. "Do you know what this meeting is supposed to be about?" Sam was suddenly very serious. "No, the girl didn't know. Apparently it's supposed to be a huge deal. I'm thinking maybe we could spy on them and find out their plan." Dante answered. "Or we could go in and slaughter them." Patty suggested. "We'd be really outnumbered if there were a lot of them there." I pointed out. "We could still fight off a lot of them. If we got you in a hidden spot you could take out a whole bunch with arrows before they even realized anyone was there." Patty added. "Who said we were attacking them?" Sam asked. "So you'd come with us if we did?" I raised an eyebrow at the 'we' in his sentence. "Aw hell yeah we'd go with you!" Dean exclaimed, sitting up straight. "Awesome!" Patty and I said at the same time. "We're officially attacking them." I stated.

"Anyway, I think we all need something to eat and to shower. We can talk about this later." Vergil changed the subject. "Where are you guys staying?" Sam asked. "Some cheap place in town." Patty answered. Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "Us too." He said. "That's weird." I added. Sam nodded. "How about we all go get some food and then go back to the motel and plan out our strategy?" Vergil suggested. We all agreed on that and walked into the small town together after Patty and I grabbed our coats. "No bars! Patty and I are underage!" I said while we walked. "Aww come on! Did you have to tell them?!" Patty complained. I Gibbs slapped her and we continued walking through the small town. "Yes, yes I did. What's today's date?" I asked randomly. "Uh February 20th. Why?" Sam answered. "Just curious." I shrugged. Patty smiled evilly and we walked into some random diner.

After we were seated, Patty wouldn't stop grinning at me. I rolled my eyes at her. We ordered our food a little while later. Patty whispered something to Dean, who was next to her, and got up to talk to the waiter who was serving us. The waiter smiled and looked discreetly over at me. Patty nodded and laughed before coming back over to us with a shit eating grin on her face. "What was that all about?" Sam, Dante and Vergil all asked in unison. "You shall see." Patty answered while staring at me, completely unfazed by the evil glare I was giving her.

Dinner passed very uneventfully. After our stuff was cleared away, Patty started watching the kitchen door impatiently. "You okay, Patty? You seem kinda anxious." Vergil asked. "I'm fine. I'm just waiting for something." Patty answered. "Waiting for what?" Sam asked. "Something." Patty told him, grinning ear to ear. If Dean was in on the joke, he was doing a damn good job of hiding it. Suddenly like five waiters/waitresses came out of the kitchen with a giant cupcake with a candle in it and came over to our table. They started singing that particular restaurant's birthday song and put the cupcake in front of me. I smiled at them when they finished, wished me a happy birthday, took our desert orders and left. Patty, Dante and Dean all got some kind of desert. As was typical for him, Dean got pie. Patty had the guy write 'Happy Birthday Fuck Face!' on the cake. Everyone at my table burst out laughing at that and I gave Patty a mock evil glare before laughing my face off. She would do something like this.

"Do you still want to know what I was waiting for?" Patty laughed. Sam shook his head, still laughing. "You didn't tell us it was your birthday." Dante pointed out. "You didn't ask and I didn't know what the date was until about an hour ago." I replied. "Happy birthday!" Sam and Dean told me and Patty ruffled my hair from across our table. "Patty, did you really have to tell the dude it was my birthday? You know I don't like being the center of attention. Like ever. 'Happy Birthday Fuck Face'? Seriously? " I asked. "I like annoying you. Besides, eighteen is definitely something to celebrate! And you've got to admit that it was funny as hell." Patty argued and I rolled my eyes.

After finishing up our deserts, we all left and went back to the TARDIS to grab our stuff then back to the motel, where the room Sam and Dean were in was across the freaking building from Dante and Vergil's room and me and Patty's room. "Alright, how about we all meet in me and Gabbi's room after we all clean up?" Patty suggested. "Sounds good." Dean agreed and we all temporarily departed to our own rooms.

* * *

**Author's note: W00t! Another chapter done and up! Yay! Yeah, Natalie's brother once got a cake that read 'Happy Birthday Fuck Face!' Great friends huh? Anyway I said I would laugh if she wrote that on my birthday cake, so yeah. It's true that I don't like the restaurant people singing and whatnot on my birthday because I really don't like to be the center of attention. All the other people in the place will turn and stare when this happens so naturally my friends love to do this to me. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

**gNat2: True story. I have the picture on his old laptop (which is now MINE!) Also, Meep and I discussed who will join us in our epic quest of slaughter and hot tub sparkle bathing. We got 14 definites and could be growing. Don't worry, it's bigger on the inside and not all of us will be going out as once...except Patty and Gabbi 'cause ya know...THEYRE THE HEROES!**


	6. But the pie is a spy

**Meep: You still need to tell me what the heck is a blumpkin.**

**gNat2: SHHHHH! There's KIDS here!**

**Dante: Should've told us before you brought us -ass slap-**

**gNat2: Oi! The Doctor does NOT recommend ass slapping and it will result in major doses of ass kicking!**

**Sam: Just...go do this double update and go to sleep.**

**gNat2: NEVER! -watches ex-communicated-**

**Also. The VGAs is almost here! Nominations are tough this year! We got The walking dead, AC3, and Dishonored nominated for Game of the year. Sadly, those Halo and CoD tryhard fags will probably will vote for said games. TWD is getting my vote (and my heart...thanks, episode 5) and I HOPE those silhouettes are Christa and Omid! I also vote for Borderlands 2 as well...Guns are cool, deal with it. Claptrap was nominated Character of the year along with Master Chief, Connor, and some guy from BO2. That damn robot better win...**

**Dean: Ignore the ranting gamer there. Enjoy!**

* * *

In Case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE SHOWS/VIDEO GAMES/MOVIES/WHATEVER! PATTY OWNS HERSELF AND I OWN MYSELF! THAT'S ALL I GOT! **

Chapter whatever freaking number we're on

Gabbi's POV

Once in our room, Patty and I played rock-paper-scissors to see who got the shower first. I lost and Patty grabbed her backpack and went to shower. She took about an hour. When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of black sweats and a Honey Badger T-shirt, everyone else was already in the room. "Alrighty then. Let's get down to business." I said as I sat down on the bed that I had claimed as my own. "We know that the Sue meeting is the day after tomorrow at noon and we know that it's supposedly really freakin important. What are we gonna do about it?" Dean started off. "I've got an idea." Patty offered. Everyone turned and looked at her expectantly.

"Well first off, where's this meeting taking place?" Patty asked. "The girl said that their headquarters is hidden in the woods and that normal people can't find it unless they already know where it is. Luckily she told us where it is. About two miles east of town, the forest gets a lot denser. The Sue said that the entrance to the hideout would be marked by two trees that had, just wait for it, pink sparkly leaves." Dante said. Everyone shuddered and I made a face. "Yeah, I know. She also said there was a password to get in, but she didn't know what it was. We'll just have to guess. "Dante continued. "Or wait for some other Sue who knows the password to come along and sneak in with her." I suggested. "That's not a bad idea. You've got a devious mind. I trained you well!" Patty laughed. "So what's your plan?" Sam asked Patty.

"My plan is that once we get inside with whatever weapons we're going to use, we find where this meeting is and spy on them until they're done. Then we come out of our hiding spots and kill them all. Then we leave and go wherever the TARDIS takes us next and hopefully foil their plan. I'm pretty sure all the Sues in the universe communicate, that makes our lives that much more complicated. As for getting rid of the bodies, no one can find this place unless they know exactly where to look and it's probably protected by Sue bitch magic. I say we all wear black and dress like ninjas." Patty explained. "What if we get caught during the meeting?" I asked. "Then we don't find out the plan but we still get to kill almost every Sue in this canon." She answered simply. "You're freaking violent." I commented. "Says the one who's gonna have to shoot them all at close range." Patty replied sarcastically. I glared at her in response.

"How about tomorrow we go and look for this place? Just to see if we can figure out their password. It'll save time on the day of the meeting." Sam suggested. "Alright. Who wants to go?" Patty asked. "I'll go." I volunteered. "In that case I'm going with you." Patty responded immediately. "Alright now who's going with them to make sure they don't get themselves killed? Not it!" Dante said. "Not it!" Dean yelled. "Not it!" Vergil and Sam said almost simultaneously. "Ooh I really wouldn't want to be you right now Sam." Dante said.

"Are we really that bad?" Patty asked, offended. I gave them all a hurt face, complete with puppy dog eyes. "Holy crap Gabbi!" Patty exclaimed. "What?" I asked. "Your face! It looks like you just watched a puppy get hit by a truck." She told me. "Don't joke about injured puppies. It's not nice." I said. "That wasn't the point!" Patty Gibbs slapped me. "Did you even have a point?" I asked sarcastically. "You suck." Patty replied. I smiled hugely. "So, tomorrow the three of us will go and look for the Sue headquarters and try to figure out the password. Sounds like a plan to me." I changed the subject. "I think we need some music. Gabbi where's your iPod?" Patty asked. "It's in my backpack." I picked my backpack up off the bed and tossed it to her. "You couldn't just take the thing out and toss that to me?" Patty stated. "No because you'd drop my iPod." I replied. "So you would you!" Patty shot back. "I never said I wouldn't. I was just saying you would. Stating fact, not making judgment." I said. "You and your freaking logic! Aww damn it! What's your password?" Patty yelled. I motioned for her to toss it to me and she did. Holding my iPod against my chest I typed in my password and threw it back to her. "Thank you!" She smiled as she started searching my iPod.

"Hey Dean. Could you pass me the remote please?" I asked. "Here ya go." Dean tossed the remote to me from the chair he was sitting in. I fumbled with it but caught it before it hit the ground and started channel surfing. "Do you have anything on here that's not Bon Jovi?" Patty asked after a few minutes. "Yeah, probably. Check!" I told her as I found that this place gets ABC Family. The first Lord of the Rings movie was supposed to start in about fifteen minutes. "Oh my God. We're so watching this!" I grinned as I flipped the channel on. "What's on? And how much Bon Jovi do you freaking have on here!?" Patty asked. "Like, three album's worth. There's some Green Day and Muse and Paramore and some other stuff in there somewhere. My cousin got into it once, so there might be the occasional Taylor Swift or Kelly Clarkson song or something like that. This is Hannah we're talking about. Don't ask. What do you think is on? Don't tell her!" I directed the last part at the others, who were laughing. "Which Lord of the Rings movie is on?" Patty sighed and shook her head. "The first one. The books are still better!" I answered and threw a pillow at her. Patty started playing 'Super massive Black hole' by Muse, tossed me my iPod, and looked up at me seriously. "You are such a nerd. Are you going to do the hair?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" Dean joined the conversation. "She can imitate Legolas's hair. Do it! She can also do a pretty decent impersonation of Orlando Bloom." Patty smiled at me. "Seriously?" Dean turned to me with an eyebrow raised. "Yeah. I'm weird. I know. I'll be back!" I stood up, fished my hairbrush and hair ties out of my backpack and went into the bathroom and braided my hair. Patty was laughing her ass off when I walked back in the room with Legolas's hairstyle. "I don't want to know how you figured that out." Dean commented. "There's this thing called boredom. I had a nasty case of it one day and I was randomly searching YouTube and yeah." I explained. "Oh okay then." Dean said. _Haha! We're all smartasses here! This is going to be fun! _I thought.

"Movie's starting." Sam informed us. I turned off my music, quickly sat back down and turned my attention to the T.V. "Obsessed." Patty sang. "Shut up." I mimicked her singsong tone. It was pretty quiet during the movie seeing as Patty knew better than to talk while we were watching it, Sam, Dean and Vergil were interested, and Dante was effectively silenced with a pillow to the face and a death glare from me. After the movie was finished, all the guys left and went to sleep.

"We're gonna be alone with Sam for most of tomorrow." Patty stated once we were alone and changing into pajamas. "That should be interesting at the least." I grinned. "Let's just not scar him for life." Patty said. "If Sam were going to be scarred for life, we wouldn't be the ones to do it. It would take a whole lot more than two crazy-as-fuck teenage girls to scar Sam Winchester for life." I corrected. "We're all gonna wear black when we attack the Sues right? Being ninjas for a day would rock!" Patty asked me. "Aw hell yeah! You know that black sweat suit I have? The jacket is pretty big on me so the hood covers my whole face and I've got a black tank top. I'm good to go." I told her. "I've got black clothes to wear too. It doesn't really take much to cover your face. You've got a small face." Patty said. "Meh. This, is gonna be weird." I looked at my friend while I un-braided my hair and pulled it into a low ponytail. "Yep! Right up our alley!" Patty said cheerfully. I laughed and we climbed into bed and went to sleep.

~~~~~meep~~~~~meep~~~~~meep~~~~~

The next morning after eating the hotel breakfast, we all gathered in me and Patty's room again to finalize plans and whatnot. "I've got a question. Are you two just going to go in there and shoot all these Sues or do you use other weapons too? I'm actually really curious." Patty asked. "We've got a whole bunch of stuff." Dean replied. "Okay. Don't ever let Gabbi get to it. I don't want to know what she'd do." Patty said. At this I smacked her upside the head. "What exactly do you think I'd do?" I asked. "You'd have even more ways to hurt people! We don't need that." Patty said. I rolled my eyes. "Should we leave now to try and find the Sue headquarters?" Sam changed the subject. "Yeah! Let's go! Go grab anything you're bringing." I said as I grabbed my bow, quiver and coat and stood by the door. I already had my boots on. Sam left the room, probably to go get his gun and stuff.

"Jesus Christ Gabbi! How do you get ready so fast?" Patty asked after she pulled on her shoes and put her sonic screwdriver and butterfly knife in her jacket pockets. I shrugged. Sam came back a few minutes later and we left. We walked out of town and started heading east. There weren't many people out and about and no one asked why the hell I was carrying a bow. They gave me weird looks yeah, but no one asked questions. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. "So, I already know that Gabbi uses a bow. But what kind of weapon do you hunt Mary Sues with?" Sam turned to Patty once we were out of town and in the forest. "I am the unofficial Twelfth Doctor so I have the sonic screwdriver and physic paper. I've also got a butterfly knife." Patty answered, taking out the knife and twirling it in her fingers. "Okay….." Sam replied, eyebrows raised. "I've just got my bow and my martial arts. I've been shooting since I was fourteen and I've been doing martial arts since I was seven." I added. Sam nodded. "Although, she'd use just about anything she got her hands on." Patty added. "Yep." I agreed.

We walked on for a while in silence. I made a mental note when the woods started to get thicker. "We should be getting close soon." I pointed out. "Yeah." Sam nodded. "What did you do before you started hunting Mary Sues?" he asked. "I was doing what every high school senior does. Working at some restaurant and worrying about college. I had no idea what I wanted to do." Patty answered. I bit my lip when Sam turned to me. "First off I would like to proudly admit to being a nerd, and maybe a tiny little bit of a workaholic." I started. Patty laughed, probably thinking this was an epic understatement. "I was working at my aunt's friend's animal shelter. The lady who owns the place used to be in the school system and she was pretty flexible with my hours. I have been in at least two honors classes a year since seventh grade and I was in a few AP classes in my last two years of high school. I was going to do two years of college at Nassau University to get some credits and then go away to veterinary school. I also somehow made time to do Ju Jitsu and practice archery. I practically lived on coffee and sometimes there just were not enough hours in the day. I don't even want to think about all the crap I'm missing by hunting Sues out here with fictional characters and my best friend." I explained, laughing a little bit when I finished. I had wanted to be a veterinarian since I was little. I really didn't want to think about what was going on at home. Were Patty and I considered missing persons? Did our families flip out and have the cops looking for us? Did time freeze there?

"Interesting. What do you mean by fictional characters?" Sam asked. "She means that in our world, almost every canon we're going to be going into isn't real. Some of them, like Devil May Cry, are video games. Some are books and/or movies, like Lord of the Rings. I personally hope we won't have to go there because I don't want Gabbi to lose her freaking mind. Some are T.V. shows. There's one about you and Dean called Supernatural." Patty explained. I sighed in relief when Patty conveniently left out the fact that I watch Supernatural. "There was?" Sam asked, shocked. "Yep. Before you ask, no we didn't watch it." Patty was lying through her teeth to save me from complete embarrassment. 'Thank you.' I mouthed to her. She nodded. "For the record, we probably will have to go to Lord of the Rings. That place is freaking crawling with Sues of all kinds. Higher level Sues are the ones with weird superpowers, natural battle skills, stunning beauty and all sorts of crap like that. They're the worst ones in my opinion and I feel bad for every canon character there. Almost none of them are spared. Most of them get some sort of Mary Sue at some point. Legolas, Aragorn, Boromir and Frodo tend to get the most. Then again, Elladan and Elrohir get a bunch too, just not as much as the members of the Fellowship. And if they don't get Mary Sues, they're either extremely out of character or not mentioned when they should be or have their lines/roles stolen by the Sue. The authors of Mary Sue fanfiction almost never do their research and therefore the stories would suck even if the Mary Sue wasn't in it." I explained. _Or the characters get really, really bad slash. *Shudders violently* _I added mentally.

"I've never heard of Elladan and Elrohir." Patty said. "That's because they're only in the books." I reminded her. "Nerd." She muttered. "And damn proud of it!" I replied with a grin. This caused Sam to laugh and Patty to try and shoot laser beams out of her eyes and at me. We walked for a while longer before I smelled the disgusting smell of just about every flower known to man being crushed together and made into perfume. All three of us started coughing. "Well, now we know we're definitely getting close." Sam choked. "No shit Sherlock." Patty responded. Sam just glared at her. "The correct response to that is 'Fuck you Watson.'" I stated. Sam smiled. "I'll remember that." He said.

Soon enough, we came across the two trees with pink sparkly leaves. The trees formed a sort of arch and there was a translucent, pink screen of Sue bitch magic that spread over the space between the two trees. I handed my bow and quiver to Patty and walked right towards it to see what would happen. I felt like someone had taken a battering ram to my gut and that pain spread all over my body. I bounced off and was thrown into the ground, sliding backwards and landing at Sam and Patty's feet. "Oww, okay that hurt. Yeah, that wouldn't even have hurt a lower level Sue." I said, getting up and dusting off my jeans, feeling like the punching bags we use at the dojo. "Wow." Sam commented. "I know. If I were a Mary Sue, what would the password to my hideout be?" I wondered to myself. "Well, since all the Sues probably communicate with each other, the password would have to be the same for all of their hideouts." Patty added. "That doesn't help us much." Sam responded. "It kinda does. If we figure out this one, we'll have the password for all of them." I cocked my head to the side and glared at the magic screen. "That's assuming we can figure out the password for this one." Sam pointed out. "Yes, there's always that." I agreed. Then I got a ridiculous idea. I walked up to the screen, careful not to get flung backwards again, and said, "Mellon." I'm such a nerd!

Patty and Sam both started laughing. "What the hell made your think that would work?" Patty shrieked with laughter. "It was worth a shot." I shrugged, rubbing my shoulder where I had slammed into the ground. Damn Mary Sue bitch magic doors. I stayed on my spot in front of the archway, thinking. "I've got another idea. This one might be a bit more realistic." I stated. Patty snorted sarcastically and I turned around and flipped her off. "Legolas Greenleaf." I stated simply. I figured since her gets the most Mary Sues, and since fangirls are stupid and insane, that they might make the password the name of the most Sue harassed guy known to man-kind. Or in this case, elf-kind. Patty started laughing again when nothing happened.

Just then, a perfectly musical voice seemed to come on the wind that suddenly picked up. "Welcome, sister, to our humble abode." The voice said and the pink screen disappeared. I looked at Sam and Patty, all of us attempting to control our laughter. Patty gave me my bow and quiver back and we snuck inside, weapons drawn and ready. I nearly puked. Everything was some sort of bright, nauseating shade of pink. "I didn't know there were fifty shades of pink." Patty whispered as we ran quietly down some hallway on our right. I coughed into my hand to disguise my laughter. "You suck." I whispered. "Now, if I were a council meeting place where would I be?" I wondered to myself again as we wandered the halls randomly, alert and ready to fight the first Sue we met. Sam opened up one of the doors there. "Gabbi, Patty! Over here!" he nodded his head towards the door. We all peeked inside and saw what would happen if someone let a whole band of wannabe princesses loose on my school auditorium. The far wall was entirely windows that overlooked the peaceful forest outside with dark pink velvet curtains. There were rows and rows of movie theater style seats, also pink and velvet, and a huge stage with ornately designed, different colored podiums. Each one had a different sort of theme to it, so I guessed that there would be Sues from other places here too. Fantastic. The spotlights were bright blue, yellow, green and pink and were all pointed at the stage. Near the back were two other huge fancy looking doors.

"There are a few hiding places and ways to get in here." I said after taking in the room. I walked over to where the window wall was and moved the curtain. "Like where?" Sam asked as he and Patty came up behind me. Behind the curtains were small ladders that led up to platforms on top of the windows, but were still somehow hidden by the curtains. They might have been so people could reach up there to clean everything. "Like up there for one." Patty answered. "The back corners in the dark for two." I stated, noticing that the back corners were set back behind the doors. No one could see behind there. "What if there are vampire Sues that need to stay out of the sun?" Patty asked. "Then we stake them and take their spots." I shrugged. "I think we'll all fit in here and be able to hide." Sam nodded, looking around. "Cool. And now we know the password." I said, trying not to start laughing at the fact that it was so easy to guess. "Yeah." Sam agreed, stifling his own laughter. "Hey, you think these windows open?" Patty tried to open one of the windows that was hidden behind the curtain. It opened out like shutters. "I guess that answers that. We could sneak in this way if we leave the window open and hide it." I said. "That seems a bit risky. What if they sweep the place for stuff like this before the meeting?" Sam asked. "This whole mission is risky. Besides, who would _ever _want to sneak into a Mary Sue meeting? Anyone who would care would already be invited. We're just on a hunt." I retorted. "Fair enough." Sam replied. "Let's go before we get caught." Patty said as she climbed out the window. I nodded and jumped out the window. Sam followed right behind me and I pulled the curtain back into its original place, hiding the open window.

Then we ran like hell back the way we came until we were just outside town. "Remind me again why you weren't on the track team." Patty asked. I had been neck and neck with Sam the whole run. But of course, now I was freaking exhausted. "Do you honestly think I have time? I've got Ju Jitsu, archery, work and school to do. And, contrary to popular belief, I need to sleep and don't completely live off of coffee." I panted. "Come on. Let's get back to the motel." Sam said after a couple minutes. I nodded and we walked back to the motel we had stayed in the night before. On the way, I noticed that there were more people that were out now. Once we were back at me and Patty's room, we found a note taped on the door. Sam picked it up and read it out loud. "'Sam, Grabbed our stuff, checked out and went back to the TARDIS. Car is in a parking lot near last night's diner. Meet us in the TARDIS when you get back. Make sure Katniss has all her arrows this time. Vergil had us go to a supermarket and pick up a bunch of snack food for dinner. –Dean'" Sam read. I rolled my eyes. "He's going to call me Katniss all the time now, isn't he?" I asked. "Yeah, probably." Sam replied. "Awesome." I muttered sarcastically. Patty chuckled.

Once we were back at the TARDIS, it was about 3:30 or so. I plopped down on the floor and took a water bottle that Vergil offered me. Yeah, it took me all of twenty seconds to drain the water bottle. "So, what did you find out?" Dean asked. "Their password." Sam answered. Patty and I erupted into giggles. "What's so funny?" Dante gave us a look. "Their password was so easy to guess." Patty laughed. "What was it?" Vergil joined our discussion. I opened my mouth to reply when Patty cut me off. "Do the voice!" she grinned. "Do I have to?" I whined. "Please?" she begged. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat in preparation to do my Orlando Bloom impression. "Fine! The password is Legolas Greenleaf. Are you quite happy now Patty?" I said. Dean looked at me with a look that said, 'Yep, she's completely lost it.' before chuckling along with Sam and Dante. Vergil just raised an eyebrow and Patty was howling. I grinned and turned to Patty. "By the way, they're taking the hobbits to Isengard." I stated simply, still using the voice. Patty, being the only one other than me to see the second Lord of the Rings movie, all but collapsed in another fit of giggles.

"Is that seriously their password?" Dean asked after everyone stopped laughing. "I'm dead freaking serious." I said, returning my voice to normal. "Wow. They're even dumber than we thought." Dean commented. "Never underestimate the power of stupidity I replied. "We also found where the meeting is actually going to be held and we know how to get there. There's a window in the place that we left open in case we need to sneak in or out. We also took note of a few hiding spots. Gabbi, I think you should hide up on that platform that we found. You'd be able to shoot from up there right?" Patty added. "Yeah, I can shoot from there. The back two corners are pushed back from the doors so that when the doors are open, you can't see those two corners. They could fit two people each if there aren't any vamp Sues that need to sit there. And if there are, these arrows are wood; I'll just shoot them through the heart." I said. "What if they're the kind of vampires you need to decapitate?" Sam asked. "You'll have to take care of those. I don't have anything to chop off heads with." I answered. We talked for a while longer about the plans for tomorrow and ate a dinner which consisted mainly of junk food that Vergil, Dante and Dean had gotten at some supermarket. Afterwards Sam and Dean left to get a bunch of their hunting stuff from their car, including a couple of machetes for vampire head chopping. Patty had attacked me the moment I saw them, trying to restrain me. _What the hell does she think I'm going to do with them? I mean they are pretty cool but it's not like I'd use them unless we needed to fight Sues! _I thought as I escaped from Patty's grasp and put her in a wristlock before shoving her lightly and giving her a 'Really?' look. We all slept in the TARDIS in our clothes that night. Meh, Patty and I would kick the guys out in the morning and change.

* * *

**Author's note: AHH! Really long chapter! I have no idea what possessed me to make Legolas's name the Sue hideout password but then again, it kind of fits. Anywho, the next chapter will contain the Sue Bitch Meeting! Muahahah! I'll give you a hint. Gabbi, AKA me, will be impersonating Legolas at some point during the actual fight. I think it would be pretty funny to write about that and it will hopefully give you all a good laugh. MEEP OUT PEACE! READ AND REVIEW!**

**gNat2: Meep! Play Borderlands 2!**

**Meep: Why?**

**gNat2: There's this campaign that's pirate related and we search for treasure...and hovercrafts! It's a plus that Captain Scarlett is damn funny.**

**Meep: Maybe...**


	7. Changing Sues' fate with arrows

**Dean: Did we just...**

**Sam: Are we...**

**gNat2: That's right we teleported to the Supernatural archive!**

**D+S: Why?**

**gNat2: Because, there would be some person searching through the DW archive and suddenly this story updates! They'll be like, 'Oh, it's getting late. I should probably go to bed.' but when they wake up to refresh it, here comes a new wave of updates with mary sue companions or something shitty with River Song and the 10/11th doctor. They have lives, they don't want to waste their time looking through dumb fanfics! So why not teleport to every new fandom we go to?**

**Meep: Not bad...**

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In Case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE MOVIES/BOOKS/CHARACTERS/ANY OF THE STUFF WE REFERENCE! I ONLY OWN MYSELF!**

Chapter whatever freaking number we're up to

Gabbi's POV

The next morning's breakfast consisted of leftover junk food from the night before. Tostitos and salsa for breakfast, hell yeah. "Alright, we need to change so you're all getting kicked out for the next fifteen or so minutes." Patty stated after we ate. Patty and I then ushered the guys out of the TARDIS and shut the door. I rummaged through my backpack to find my black sweats and tank top and stuff. Patty also had a pair of black sweats. "You ready for all hell to break loose?" Patty asked quietly. "Don't say that here. There is a possibility all Hell could break loose while we're in this canon. That reminds me, thanks for covering for me yesterday. You know, not telling Sam that I watch Supernatural." I whispered as I zippered up my jacket and boots and went for my hairbrush. "No problem." Patty shrugged as she pulled her hair into a low bun and threw her hood up.

Hairbrush still in hand, I went outside and yelled to the guys that they could come in. "Now you guys can change, we'll wait out here." I said. I grabbed three small hair ties, wrapped them on my finger and Patty and I stepped out of the TARDIS to wait. I brushed my hair back and started braiding it back like Legolas. Oh to think of how hard I would laugh if the Sues actually thought I was him. I chuckled at the thought. "What are you laughing about?" Patty looked away from my dark brown hair and at my face. I cleared my throat. "Legolas's hair color was never specified in the books. What if the Sues thought I was him?" I asked, using my Orlando Bloom voice. Patty thought for a second, then laughed her ass of as I tied off the last braid and pulled up my hood. "That might actually work. It would sure as hell distract them." Patty replied. I smirked from under my hood. A minute or so later, Dante opened the door and told us we could come back inside. I checked my iPod for the time. It was about 10:00. We had all grabbed whatever weapons we were bringing and were just sitting around anxiously.

"We should get moving soon, it takes a while to get to this place." Sam said after looking over my shoulder to find out the time. "Alright, let's go." Vergil said as everyone got up to go. Sam, Patty and I led the way through the forest and towards the Mary Sue bitch hideout. Everyone was silent during the walk over there. There was too much at risk to be talking loudly. "We're getting close." I whispered to our group as we came to the spot where the trees thickened. I took a deep breath, remembering the place where we smelled Sues yesterday. Everyone in our group gagged when we reached that spot. Soon, we reached the pink trees with the magic gate.

"And here I had hoped that bitch was joking when she said there'd be pink trees." Dante commented. "Unfortunately, she was dead serious." Patty stated. "Now, we have two options for getting in. We could go through here and risk being discovered, or…" I trailed off and paused, a smirk on my face as I remembered the window. "Or?" Dean asked impatiently. "We could go in through a window Patty left open yesterday." I finished. "I vote we use the window. It leads right into the meeting room." Sam told everyone. "I second that." Patty piped up. Dante, Vergil and Dean all agreed on that idea. "One does not simply walk into Mordor." I whispered as we walked around, looking for the windows that would mark the auditorium like room. "We're not going to Mordor though." Sam corrected from ahead of me. "We're close enough." Dante retorted. I smirked and we finally found the windows. I pulled myself up onto the ledge and peeked in through the pink curtains. The multi-colored spotlights had been turned on and were pointing at the podiums. Now that I looked, there were five of them. The one in the center had a red and black gothic sort of theme. The one directly on the left looked like the front part of a black pirate ship, next to that was one that was a dark red color with the Cullen Crest carved into it. _Damn, we must have missed a few Sues when we went to Twilight. _I thought. On the right side of the center podium, there was one with a nature-ish theme and next to that was another plain black one. I noticed some Mary Sues were there, sitting way up in the front rows and jabbering about nothing in particular.

"Alright, the coast is clear." I called softly down to my group of Sue Hunters. We all climbed up into the room and dispersed to separate hiding places. Sam and Dean took out a couple of vamp Sues in the back corners and them, Dante and Vergil hid there. I don't know what happened to the bodies and quite frankly, I don't care. I climbed up the ladder to one of the platforms and sat there with my bow and quiver. Patty was on the platform on the other side. We all nodded to each other and sat down to wait. I've got no idea how long we sat there but eventually the whole auditorium filled with Sue bitches. This was literally my worst nightmare and I shuddered at the thought that there were so many Sues in existence. "Psst!" Patty hissed softly to get my attention. She nodded towards the stage, where four Sues were walking up and standing at the podiums.

The one who took the Cullen podium was vampire pale with the signature Cullen eyes and knee-length pin-straight hair that was as black as a crow's feathers. She wore a red dress that came down to her shins and was sleeveless. She randomly started to sparkle. I gagged and hoped one of the Winchesters had a lighter. The Sue next to her at the pirate podium was dressed in brown legging like pants, black pirate boots, and an off white top with a brown corset like thing, a leather jacket that had definitely seen better days and a Jack Sparrow like hat on top of mid-back length curly dark blonde hair. Her brown eyes were outlined with more eyeliner than both Patty and I had used in our entire freaking lives. Combined. She reminded me a bit of Elizabeth Swann. Not just because I hate Elizabeth but because there was definitely some kind of resemblance. As she stood on the podium, a wind only she could feel started to play with her hair, blowing it out dramatically like a shampoo commercial. The pirate Sue also had a sword. The black and red gothic podium remained empty for the moment. At the nature podium stood possibly the most sickeningly perfect woman I had ever seen in my life. She had deep blue eyes that probably would have sparkled even in pitch-blackness, golden blonde hair that brushed the floor, perfect pale skin that seemed to have an unearthly, and powerful glow about it and, just wait for it, pointed ears. The tips of said ears poked out of her silky looking hair. She wore a white gown that seemed to shimmer in the spotlight on her. Flowers started blooming on the top of her podium. The black podium was taken by an Italian looking woman. Not trying to be racist I swear on my life! Her long curly hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and she wore jeans, ankle boots and a blue sweater. She had a gun on her hip.

'Dibs on shooting the elf Sue.' I mouthed to Patty when she looked back at me. Patty nodded and we sat for a few more minutes, watching the stage. Suddenly the fifth lead Sue bitch, whatever you want to call her, walked onto the stage. She looked unnervingly similar to Dakota Marisella whatever her name was, the Sue we killed in the forest. This one was dressed in almost the same way. The only differences were that this one was wearing a blue tank top, had brown eyes and brown hair with blue streaks. _Oh fuck. I'd bet my life that they were sisters and that this one was meant for Sam. _She stood at the red and black gothic podium, and tapped the microphone that was there. All the Sues suddenly stopped talking and looked up at her. A soft, confused murmur ran through the crowd.

"Welcome to the Sisterhood's annual meeting. My name is Cecilia Rose Isabelle Robin Marie Starshine Greenleaf Winchester. I know that in years past, my dear older sister Dakota has run these meetings. I regret to inform you that less than a week ago, darling Dakota was brutally murdered. I have called this meeting not only to discuss the Creator's plans for conquering the fandoms but to avenge my sister's death by finding those responsible for it. After conferring with the representatives here from other fandoms, we have confirmed that there are four Wandering Hunters afoot and that they may be responsible for my sister's death." The blue Sue started and gestured to the four other Sues on the stage, but was forced to stop when frightened whispering erupted from the Sues in the audience. _So they call us Wandering Hunters? Huh. And son of a Balrog how does she know we're hunting them? Oh right, there's a sparkly fairy vampire bitch survivor here and we apparently killed her sister. Shit._ Tears began to form in Cecilia's eyes and she shook her head.

"Anyway, we were called to discuss the progress of the Creator's plans to take over the fandoms. Our part concerning the Winchester brothers was almost completed until Dakota was killed. Here we have representatives from Twilight, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings and NCIS to discuss their progress. I will now let my friend Susanna have the floor." Cecilia finished and a spotlight shone over the sparkly vamp Sue and she sparkled even more if that were even remotely possible. I flinched and turned away to make a face.

"Hello, my friends. My name is Susanna Natalie Belle Cullen. I and my friends here have come very far to attend this meeting. Unfortunately I must be the bearer of bad news. Our part in fandom domination concerning the Cullens and the wolves could not be completed. All of the sisters in the Twilight fandom save me were killed in an attack from the Wandering Hunters. I immediately came here to talk to my good friend Cecilia. I feel the need to describe these Hunters to you, heaven forbid you meet them. Two were male and had white hair and wielded swords against the non-vampire sisters. One was tall with sandy blonde hair and had some sort of magic screwdriver. The last was in my opinion short, she couldn't have been taller than 5'5, with dark brown hair and used a bow and arrows. One of them used a lighter and burned my vampire sisters. I alone escaped the attack. These Hunters are dangerous and should be considered a threat to the mission. Hopefully, we will raise alarms and be able to punish these Hunters. That is all I have to say on the matter and will now let one of my other friends speak." Susanna said. _Well shit! She got a good look at us. AND DAMMIT TO HELL I AM NOT SHORT! And I'm 5'6! I'll bet we're on all their shit lists now! This makes things much harder for us. Oh well! They're still going down! _I thought as the pirate Sue started to speak with a posh British accent.

"I am Evangeline Swann, older sister of Elizabeth Swann. I am delighted to report that we have positioned our sisters at Port Royal and Tortuga, ready to help me intercept Jack Sparrow and William Turner and to help rescue my darling sister Elizabeth. From there our sisters shall carry out the Creator's plan for our fandom. When I return, I will inform our leader of the Wandering Hunters and we'll be on the watch for them. We haven't had any problems thus far with any of the canon characters." Evangeline stated, with a devious grin as she mentioned one Captain Jack Sparrow, and gestured towards the Italian woman. "Special Agent Monica would you like to speak next?" she asked. The woman nodded.

"My name is Special Agent Monica DiNozzo and I work for NCIS. Our agents are currently trying to carry out our part of the Creator's plan with mild success. Our agents had some trouble gaining the trust of Special Agent Gibbs and Officer Ziva David and I highly doubt that they trust us fully at the moment. That will be fixed in good time. So far everything has gone according to plan. When I get back, I'll give a sketch artist the profiles of the Wandering hunters Susanna described and I'll have Agent Cornell put them on the FBI's wanted list." Monica, who I'm assuming is Tony's 'sister', said. _Alright, she has to go too. I don't need to be on the FBI's shit list too. Though, I wonder how exactly she'd convince Cornell to even put us on that list. Probably make up some bullshit story about some random crime we supposedly committed and let Sue bitchiness take it from there. Man I hate Mary Sue authors. _I thought as she turned to the elf woman and decided to let her speak.

"**Suilaid, **my friends! I am Vanafindiel Raina Valadhiel Caladwen Verya Nessima Nimthîriel, daughter of Glorfindel." She started. (Suilaid = Greetings) I silently fumed at the girl. _W-what the hell is this?! The books never mentioned Glorfindel even being married; let alone having a child, from what I remember! And even if he did, said child would definitely not be anything like this bitch! AARRRGGGH! I'm gonna shoot her when I get the chance. _"Unfortunately, Lady Arwen of Rivendell would not cooperate with my sisters and the Creator had to put up a sort of force field around her so the others would not notice her. The future members of the Fellowship that have arrived are completely oblivious to our plans to win their hearts, unfortunately my darling Prince Legolas is not included among these seeing as he has yet to arrive. I have not seen much of my **Adar** in Rivendell. I believe this is due to his avoiding me for a reason unbeknownst to me. The Creator has ordered me to volunteer as a part of the Fellowship at the Council of Elrond where a good friend of mine shall carry the Ring and thus win the love of Aragorn, when the Council takes place of course. However that won't be for another six months or so. The Creator plans for me to slay the Balrog in Moria, following my father's footsteps. Thus far everything is going quite well." The blonde demon bitch, apparently Vanafindiel, stated. (Adar = Father)

_There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to start. Though, throttling this bitch would be a mighty fine starting point. I wonder if we can break that shield spell thing that's on Arwen. I hope she hasn't lost her mind yet. _I think I was actually shaking by the time the elf/demon bitch/unholy spawn of Morgoth finished. The Sues soon began to yap about random shit. 'Can I shoot something now?' I mouthed to Patty. 'Oh hell yes!' she mouthed back. I drew an arrow from the quiver on my back and aimed at some random Sue sitting alone in the back of the auditorium. I let the arrow loose and the arrow struck her right in the neck.

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**Author's note: Sorry for such a long chapter! I went completely batshit here. I'm going to have to disinfect my soul. I just created a whole auditorium's worth of Sues. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

**gNat2: Shit gets real! Also, Claptrap won character of the year as Samuel L. Jackson makes a cameo in several games. I'll totally love a mode where it's called Sam L Jackson mode. **

**With every year, there some people who post their hate on a winner's tag. For example, AC in Borderlands or TWD (as TWD won Game of the year). Well, off to clean off my Maury recordings. Later!**


	8. I used to be a Sue like you

**gNat2: MEEEEEEEP!**

**Meep: What?**

**gNat2: I think I'm a legit timelord. Everytime my bus driver picks me up he says, "Hello, Sweetie." officially declaring him the regenerated River Song and me the doctor.**

**...We obviously regenerated in the wrong bodies. **

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In case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS/MOVIES/VIDEO GAMES/ WHATEVER ELSE WE USE IN THIS STORY! I ONLY OWN MYSELF AND UNFORTUNATELY THE SUES I WAS FORCED TO MAKE UP FOR THE GOOD OF THE FANFIC!**

Chapter whatever number this is

Gabbi's POV

A split second passed after my arrow struck the Sue's neck. As if in slow motion, she fell to the ground and disintegrated into the typical sparkles and pixie dust. Sam, Dean, Dante and Vergil now came slowly out of the corners. I moved the curtains aside and nodded at them. They all drew their weapons and started walking towards the Sues. I turned my eyes to the stage, trying to decide which Sue to shoot first as I drew another arrow and Patty climbed down the ladder with her sonic screwdriver ready. _Alright, that Special Agent Sue really needs to go. Otherwise, we'll have the FBI after us. I'll shoot her first. _I thought to myself and lined up my shot. A moment later Special Agent Monica DiNozzo shrieked and dissolved into sparkles and glitter.

For a minute, there was utter silence. Every Sue in the room stopped and stared at the spot where Special Agent Monica DiNozzo had been standing. Then, Cecilia Rose Isabelle Robin Marie Starshine Greenleaf Winchester stood up, shaking with rage and turned to the Sues in the audience. She didn't get the chance to issue whatever order she was going to give them. She had an arrow in her throat before she reached her microphone. Complete chaos ensued as Sam, Dean, Dante, Vergil and Patty started attacking the Sues.

"We're under attack!" Some random Sue shouted. _No shit Sherlock._ I thought and rolled my eyes. The Sues seemed to conjure weapons out of thin air and started fighting back. I started to fire arrows in rapid fire succession, taking out the more powerful looking Sues. I watched for a minute as my friends fought. Somehow, some way, they weren't dead. They were badly outnumbered and me shooting didn't help a whole lot. _They need more help. I should go down there and do something. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. _I decided with asmall nod to myself. Sure, I would lose the element of surprise, but my friends needed me.

As if reading my mind, Patty yelled, "Now would be an amazing time for you to come down from there elf boy!" At least half the Sues stopped and looked around frantically when she said 'elf boy', including the elf Sue bitch. Slowly, I climbed down from my hiding place and shot my last arrow into the throat of some random Sue. I put my bow down on the ground; made sure my hood covered my face, and jumped into the fight with no weapon other than my hands and feet. Stupid move, I know. One Sue decided to swing at me with her sword. I ducked, spun around behind her and kicked her forwards, causing her to accidently stab another nearby Sue. Quickly, I ran and grabbed the sword. The Sue I kicked screamed in rage and came at me with her bare hands. I swung the sword down and chopped her head off. The sword felt very light and was easy for me to control. _This is obviously not a normal sword; I can't use those for my life. Damn Sue bitch magic. _I thought as I spun around and attacked another Sue. This one blocked my strike with her sword.

"Who are you? The Wandering Hunter called you elf boy!" she yelled at me. I cleared my throat, smirking to myself as I thought about what I was about to do. "I am your worst nightmare, Mary Sue. I am the _real_ Legolas. And quite honestly I am very annoyed with the lot of you. Can you not just leave me in peace?!" I stated, using my Orlando Bloom voice. The Sue looked like she wanted to laugh. "In that case, you're not a nightmare. How exactly are you annoyed with my sisters? We're perfect in every way." She said in a voice I'm assuming was supposed to be seductive. I nearly barfed right then and there. "Valar, you Sues are irritating." I muttered, remaining as in character as I could and used the Sue's moment of distraction to stab her through the heart. I turned around to face another Sue, and turned my mind completely off. I swung and slashed at anything in my path. I'm honestly extremely, hilariously bad with swords. Yeah sure we use foam swords and knives and nun chucks in Ju Jitsu to spar with but swords were more Patty's style. I never used a sword, ever. Every so often I found one of my arrows and quickly put it in my quiver on my back before jumping back into the fight. I slashed my sword down at an angle as another Sue came charging at me. The sound of metal clashing with metal met my ears as I came face to face with Vanafindiel whatever her freaking name was. _I don't know whether to curse or be happy because I finally get to kill her. _I thought as she smiled broadly at me.

"Hello, my darling Prince Legolas." She said. _Someone please kill me now. _"Do not call me your 'darling prince' ever again." I snarled at her. "But why not? You and I were meant for each other! What are you doing here with the Wandering Hunters? They are pure evil! They want to kill us all, claiming that we are the true evil. They are delusional and will corrupt your mind, my love! Come back to Middle Earth with me, we can be together for eternity." The Sue was practically begging now, completely unaware of the battle going on around us. "I am here on a secret mission to save the world. The 'Wandering hunters' as you call them, are my comrades on this mission and are in no way delusional If there is anyone here who is not in their right mind it would be you." I told her, getting ready to stab her with my sword. "And, by the way, I'm not _your love_. I never have been, and never ever will be." I whispered, just low enough for her superior elven ears to comprehend my words. I went to stab her but she just disappeared into thin air. _What the hell?! Ugh! Where the flying cheese balls did she go?! _I thought.

Soon, I came across two fighting knives lying on top of a pile of sparkles. Without a second thought, I lodged my borrowed sword into the nearest Sue and picked up the knives. "_Much_ better." I murmured to myself, taking a fighting stance as a pair of twin Sues decided to come at me from either side. I stepped out of their way and stabbed them in the throats from my place on the side. I spun around, blocking a strike from another Sue and stabbing her through the heart. I pulled my knife out of her gut and took a fighting stance, twirling my knives a bit in my hands. I was in my element now. I could've gone all day. I lept back into the fight, slashing, spinning, stabbing, kicking, and generally letting the instinct that had developed over my years of Ju Jitsu training take over.

I'm not sure how long I fought before I heard Patty yelling, "Legolas! Get your elf ass over here! I've got an idea!" I turned to see her in the back of the auditorium near the spotlight control panel. I picked up another one of my arrows, ran back to where I hid my bow, put it on my back and fought my way over to Patty. "Having fun Gabbi?" she asked as I stopped next to her, noting that she had stolen a sword off some random Sue and tucked it into a belt she was wearing.

"Actually I am; impersonating the Prince if Mirkwood is fun." I smiled from under my hood. "I think I can make the spotlights light up more and go all crazy. I want you to see if you can shoot the hinges they're on so they'll fall on the Sues." Patty explained before messing around with some of the buttons. Sure enough, the spotlights started swiveling around and went into strobe light mode. I started robot-ing for a minute before taking a shot up at one of the lights. Somehow, I managed to hit the hinges holding it to the ceiling and it fell down. There were some high pitched screams and small explosions so I'm assuming we hit something. I shot down the rest of the lights and pretty soon we had knocked off the rest of the Sues that were left. Patty and I walked into the middle of the room and stood around with the guys. I twirled the knives in my hands again, somehow I still had them.

"So, now what?" Dante asked. "I haven't seen that vamp Sue around. Did someone get her?" I asked. Sam, Dean, Dante, Vergil and Patty all shook their heads. Suddenly a bubbling girly laugh sounded from behind us. "Did you think it would be that easy? I mean, I _am _a vampire." A voice sounded from behind us. I whirled around and saw the vampire Sue standing a few feet behind us with her arms crossed over her chest. "It was more of a hope. Does anyone have a lighter?" I asked, switching back to my Orlando Bloom voice. Sam handed me a lighter and I grinned demonically before opening it and flicking it towards the Sue. She shrieked as her dress caught on fire and she started to burn up. Yeah, yeah. I know I'm evil.

"Everybody out! Let's go!" Patty yelled. Luckily for me I had managed to find all my arrows before lighting up the sparkly fairy vampire thing and we all jumped out the window we had come through and ran. We ran back the way we had come and didn't stop until we reached the TARDIS. By that point, the adrenaline rush burned out and we sat against the side of the TARDIS, panting.

"So, do you think we got all of them?" Dean asked once we were back in the TARDIS, sitting in a circle on the floor. I grabbed my iPod from my bag and checked to see the time. It was now 3:00. "I think so." Patty answered. "I'm not sure we got the demon elf sue. She disappeared into thin air after I tried to stab her. I've got no idea where she went but if we see her again, I have dibs on shooting her." I added. Patty rolled her eyes at me. "So, we found out some of their plan. They're all under the command of some sort of Creator, who apparently wants to take over the universe. Where would we be able to find the creator?" Vergil spoke up. "You ask that like you think we would know." I told him.

"I don't know. The TARDIS has been taking us to the most Sue infested places so far. If we keep letting it do what it's doing, eventually it'll have to lead us to the Sue Creator and by then we'll have killed at least half the Sues in existence. Hopefully that elf sue won't rat us out to another one of her buddies and we'll be able to have the element of surprise for a while." Patty said. "That's the best plan we've got. What do you say to making a quick stop at a Laundromat and a supermarket and then getting the hell out of here?" I asked. "Alright, sounds like a plan." Sam spoke up. Patty nodded. After we had all taken turns using the TARDIS as a changing room, we washed all our clothes at a local Laundromat, bought some more munchies at a supermarket and went back to the TARDIS.

"Well, Doctor. Where to next?" I asked as Patty started pushing some random buttons on the TARDIS's control panel thing. "Wherever this thing takes us. You all might want to hold on to something." Patty said, looking specifically at Sam and Dean seeing as they were the only ones who hadn't TARDIS traveled yet. "What?" they asked in unison as the familiar whirring sounds and bumping and bouncing around began.

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**Author's note: Well, there you have it! The final chapter of the Supernatural part of our grand adventure! I admit to getting kinda carried away, but this was really, really fun to write! MEEP OUT! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

**gNat2: Aaaand that's it for the Supernatural part! We'll be off to our next destination and here's some hints!**

**Meep: Um...It's a bunch of hats and crates.**

**gNat2: I know...**


	9. Meet the Team part 1

**gNat2: I LIIIIIIIVE! First update of the new year! Good freaking job, me.**

**Meep: lazy...**

**gNat2: Hey! My laptop stopped working for 10 days and revived on New Years eve.**

**Meep: You could've got the Engineer to fix it.**

**gNat2: But he solves PRACTICAL problems! Those...13 PhDs are for nothing!**

**Meepalicious and gNat2 do not own anyone except the OCs (and sadly the sues).**

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~Patti's POV~

It's still kinda odd when you take the badass siblings who somehow are demon hunters to come along in an epic quest of sparkle slaughter and explosions times two. Honestly, I never thought they would actually join us. Gabby must really like this adventure more because the characters from her favorite TV show have flesh to touch and squeal like a fangirl, At least I got my sexy badass demon hunting brothers before the change(1).

"There was this one time I went all Robin Hood on this metal arrow…" My friend told another story to past non-existent time with the Winchester brothers. "It was when Pat and I went to practice for the heck of it. I didn't know where I was aiming and the next thing I knew, the arrow was splitting another arrow!" Which made me pipe in, "You shot in my target because you became startled as the owner of the range talked in his 'inside voice'."

The chuckle from one of the brothers was stopped shorted by the infamous Gabbi slap. "You had to be the kill joy here?" "I love you too."

"How much longer until our next destination?" In perfect timing, the space traveling box started to shake. "Does that answer your question, now hang onto something!"

There was a lot more bumping and shaking than from the previous trips, not to mention more violent. "What the hell is happening?" Yelled Dante. "Lady and Gentlemen, do not leave the TARDIS until it comes to a complete crash." I replied, only to get thrown to the other and tumbling into Vergil and crashed into the wall.

The shaking got weaker and eventually stopped. I instantly went up before hitting my head with another skull and sulked back down. Through the madness, Vergil somehow landed on top of me through the crash (Yes, it's the situation where he's between my knees and his head waaaay close to mine. Talk about awkward.) and just stared down at me. Well yea, he's Vergil Sparda, the silent stick in the mud Sparda brother.

"Kodak moment!" Cheered Dante and Gabbi.

I pushed Dante's brother off me. "If we weren't fighting for the same thing, you would be dead." I said, heading for the door.

Apparently something else was waiting on the other side. How did I know that? The sound of a guy screeching, "ALRIGHT YOU MAGGOTS, HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE YOUR ALIEN HANDS!" might've been a good guess.

Everyone, except me, drew out a random weapon. Everyone has something that's a medium-long range weapon and I have a sonic screwdriver and a butterfly knife. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.

I opened the door of the machine to meet the nuzzle of a rocket launcher in my face. "Identify yourself, alien maggot." The owner of the rocket launcher had a helmet over his eyes and wore a red jacket with grenades hanging from the belt across the material. Without breaking contact with his…helmet, I pulled out my psychic paper. "Hello, sir. I'm from the ministry of defense. This is a surprise checkup, no punishments this time around." I flash him the paper as I make up a random excuse. "That will fool an idiot! What's with the blue box?" He questioned. "We travel in style?"

He backed up a little bit while picking his nose with the free hand. "You're coming with me" He spots the others. "all of you, maggots." He turned around and marched through to a building up ahead.

Gabbi jumped out of the box and grabbed the paper. "When did you become part of the ministry, Ellen McLain(2)?" She whispered. "How the hell am I supposed to know?" I shot back. "Where we going then?" "I don't know!" "I can hear you, maggots!" The rocket launcher holding person unnecessarily shouted.

My friend nudged me with her elbow. "Go on, use the knife." She encouraged. "How about you use your arrow since you're so enthusiastic of killing him." I shushed at her. "I can't shoot through a helmet!" We started to bicker as our voices started to escalate in volume. The rocket launcher person turned around, obviously annoyed from our argument of killing him. Suddenly he pulled the trigger and the launcher did its kickback.

We all ducked and the rocket barely missed us. One of the Winchester brothers pulled out his gun and unloaded the bullets until the guy fell on his back.

"I think he's dead." Said Dean. "You bet?" Asked his brother. We gathered around the body to examine him (since we totally respect the dead).

"Who wants to guess where we are?" The answer was obvious to me. "I have no clue." Gabbi gave up. To help her make her second guess, I started humming 'Do you believe in magic?' by The Lovin' Spoonful(3) in hopes she would get it.

"Ah crap. We're in Team Fortress." She whined. "Team Fortress _2_." I corrected her. "Same thing!"

~Timeskip of laziness~

After explaining the basic nutshell of the game to the demon hunters we divided into two groups of three. One group has Gabbi, Vergil, and Sam while the other groups contains Dante, Dean, and I. The plan is that each group goes to either teams' base, meet the team, and look for any unusual behavior. When I say unusual behavior, I mean Pyros wearing skin tight suits or 12 year old female Engineers. Then we kill said sues at the perfect moment.

"I forgot to tell you." My final words to Gabbi. "It is said that Soldier might have read Lord of the Rings slash Hobbit since one of the domination lines of him to a Sniper mentions Bilbo Baggins. Just don't mention it to him, he's not the brightest." Then we parted.

We seemed to have landed in Teufort, New Mexico. What an old yet classic map to play on. The bases aren't that big to get lost in, so it'll be a win win for all of us (hopefully) and no one does anything stupid (hopefully…unless it's the sues.) and the RED Soldier doesn't remember from that 'incident' earlier on (hopefully).

~Can't think of names for timeskips, have a cookie~

I pulled back my knuckles after banging it on the door. So far no one responded yet.

Goddamn this hot weather! How did I forget to take off my sweat jacket? I tore it off and tied it around my waist, showing off my Doctor Who shirts (luckily It was read and it had a row of daleks in different colors with paint oozing on the bottom of the row.) and marking me a total badass…how long does it take to open a door?

Sure enough, the door opened to reveal the RED Engineer. "Who might you fellas be?" It was the original Engineer, no long flowing hair, no girly features, no disturbing scars…This is Dell Conagher. "Hello sir." I said, pulling out the psychic paper again. "Care if we come in?"

~With Gabbi, her POV~

Why the hell did she get Dante and Dean? Is she suicidal?

Nah…she's the Doctor.

The introduction to BLU went well. The Scout showed us around the base and told some stories here and there. We met with some of the mercenaries, Heavy, Demoman, Engineer, Spy (HE'S FREAKING FRENCH! I HATE FRENCH PEOPLE!), and Soldier. The ones who we didn't see, Medic, Pyro, and Sniper, were off doing something.

My Sue detector is buzzing.

"We got this new Pyro a few days ago since the old one wanted to do Soldier's rocket jump." Scout then cringed. "Not a nice sight when you know you ain't respawning."

"Respawn?" Vergil questioned. "Yea. Who would have nine crazy killers fight each other and expect them to live at that one moment? They put some chip on ya and it's triggered whenever you die." Responded Scout. The tour group passed by a small little hallway that had those step ladders that lead to an attic or something ("That's where Snipes hides out in his gallery of piss.") which really makes me paranoid. That's Sue/Stu potential.

* * *

**1. hint hint DmC hint hint**

**2. -chuckles loudly- Get it? Ellen McLain is the Announcer...and GLaDOS...and Glados is getting her first cameo in this movie with monsters and robots**

**3. As seen in Meet the Pyro**

**I had to cut it off here. I don't really like making long chapters since it'll be more difficult to edit and revise them if you're head if aching from a big ass paragraph.**


	10. Red vs Blue (Meet the Team part 2)

**I'm sorry I forgot to upload this! Here are some reasons why:**

**1. Despair of the original nine TF2 hats retiring**

**2. Bioshock**

**3. Sly Cooper**

**4. Red vs. Blue (Church and Donut FTW)**

**5. My birthday (which was on the 14th)**

**WOO! I'm 15! Timelord party!**

**Meepalicious: False! Ain't no party like a Pewdiepie party.**

**-flame war ensures-**

**We own nothing except our OCs.**

* * *

**Patti's POV**

It took Dante's demon-like strength (and a little of me) to stop Soldier from killing Dean after the incident outside the base. "We're here to talk, not kill each other because the other got first blood!" I yelled. Luckily, the Engineer calmed him down (You know, helmet party).

Once everything got settled down, and the other mercenaries gathered, we finally introduced ourselves.

"I am the Doctor." I started. "Doctor?" Spoke Medic. "Doctor Who?" "Yes. Anyways, this is Dante." I pointed to the red jacket wearing half-demon, "and this is Dean." Pointing to the third companion. "We, along with some others, are here on a mission that is totally top secret and we will not leave unless the job is done. Now all we need is-"

"HEY GUIS, WAZZUP?"

Do I hear a bitc-I MEAN Mary Sue?

Here comes the 'Scout'. She had the uniform except cropped to look like a whore (you know…belly and thigh exposing?) with spikes coming off her hat, the highest thigh high socks ever, wings on her shoes and…oh god, is that a moving _tail_?

"SuGoI~ ArE U guyz SHURE they aren't SPIEZ?" Soon enough, she was poking us in random places.

Must…resist…brutal murder. Oh fuck it, it's Team Fortress 2!

I grabbed one of Dante's guns and emptied the entire magazine onto her (Who was poking Dean's butt). She jerked with every bullet penetrating through her and gushes of pink sparkly glitter came out.

I sighed with the gun made a sound telling me that there are no more bullets left. I turned to the shocked mercenaries and stepped to a side to let them see what used to be their teammate.

"This, boys" I started. "Is what we're hunting down. She is called a (air quotes) Mary Sue (end quotes) and they need to be exterminated at once." "But what about the respawn?" Questioned Engineer. I flipped out my sonic screw driver and it lit up and aimed to the head of the corpse. "Not anymore. She's currently in respawn purgatory, any freakin' questions?" The team was still stunned at my awesomeness. "We will need to interview everyon-" My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. "Dean and Dante will interview you as I have to speak with someone." Thus, I ran out and stopped right by the door that led us in.

Gabbi was calling, I wonder what she wants to tell me that explains what she won't walk to the other base. _"Doctor, these men are fucked up." _She sounded a mix of nervous and pissed. On the bright side, I'm glad glad we got reception in 1972. _"The Sniper has this HUGE pile of piss in jars and that made me thought he was a Stu. On the bright side, he uses a bow and arrow." _"Just get to the point." _"Fine! BLU's Medic, and Pyro are nowhere to be seen and…hold on, I see the Medic. His clothes are bunched up and he looks flustered…OH GOD!"_ I've seen enough hentai to know what's happening.

"Head for the sewers and investigate anything suspicious, do not have mercy to shoot anything or anyone you see down there." With that, I ended the call.

**~Back to Gabbi's POV~**

The sewers? What could possibly be in the sewers?

"What did Patricia say?" Sam asked. "She told me to check the sewers since I told her Medic's condition…"

"Oi lass, ye might need some help down there." Here comes the drunken Demoman with his beer bottle in his hand and an axe strapped to his back. "Travish is right, sheila. No man ever went down those bloody halls alone." The Sniper comes out of NOWHERE and stands next to Demoman. "Whatever's down there, you have my bow." "And my axe *burp*" Cried the Scot. I couldn't help but chuckle at what they just said.

Onwards to what will be a somewhat serious Sue hunting!

_~timeskip~_

I thought the sewers was just on straight pipeline that somehow leads to the enemy base, but I can't even see what's 20 feet ahead of me. It's all moldy, smelly, makes you really suspicious of what's down here (or if Saxton Hale cut off the budget for a clean sewer) and tempts you to get lost in it.

"Crikey, I ain't seen the sewers in this condition." Sniper said in awe, observing a mold spot in the tunnel entrance. "Someone or thing went wild if the splashes made this a bloody swamp."

_Splosh!_

_Swish!_

"Something's in it." I muttered. Of course, the Demoman just simply walks through it and gargling some Scottish tale about a lochness monster and tree fiddles(1) (or something like that.) as his legs get lost in the muk. I slowly follow behind Sniper. Oh god, I wasn't prepared to get that dirty! Luckily, the sewage only goes up to the calves.

A sound of muttering French buzzed my hearing. "Sh, I hear something." Sniper caught on, advancing slowly so the sploshing water won't give us away. He started to advance to a dim light, drawing his arrow and setting it on his bow. What happened next really caught me off guard. There were these really loud splashing and Sniper's yelling.

It must be the 'thing'!

DOCTOR!

_~Meanwhile~_

Medic and Patricia sneezed at the same time. "There's some weird conspiracy theory going on." Announced Dean. "Oh shut up you." Patty told him. "I bet somebody was saying Doctor…Ah crap." "What?" "I'm off the sewers!"

* * *

**-sigh- I feel like sometime during this story I need to brake out a Red vs. Blue reference here. Maybe I'll do a side story of what-if we got to a different fandom at a random period in the story.**

**TO THE DRAWING BOARDS! When I come back, someone shoot me in the face for making a mary sue.**


	11. Let the bodies hit the floor(MTT part 3)

**gNat2: I don't really like this chapter. CURSE YOU WRITER'S BLOCK! Also, it was Meep's real birthday last week! ****-throws confetti in the air- If she's lucky, she might see a Justin Bieber concert with VIP access.**

**Meep: I HATE my uncle!**

**gNat2: At least your uncle wasn't on Bulgaria TV on a cooking show. He might end up being the next swedish chef. Just imagine how weird it would be? "So, what's your family like?" "Well, my uncle's a muppet. That's not really big."**

**You guys know the disclaimer by now. **

* * *

**~Patti's POV~**

I trudged down the sewer lines and swam to the other side with Dean at my side. If I switched him with Dante, who knows how many ways Soldier would've break his body (or his neck) during the time.

"So what exactly are we looking for?" Asked Dean as we attempt our way through the thicker water. "If I'm correct, we'll be expecting a pyro with skin tight fireproof suit AND a tentaspy." "A tenta what?" "A tentaspy, half spy half octopus slash squid. It's the most obvious signs of a Mary Sue, and no one knows where the hell it originated! You'll see enough hentai to know where that's going."

There were vines growing on the sides with the dirty water smell getting stronger. I really don't want to know what could the two do with Gabbi, maybe she's in the process of making Spy sushi without me (heh).

I was dead wrong. There she was, in a pile of a sleeping Sniper and Demoman. There was another corpse laying around but I was too concerned about the bodies that are still breathing.

"I think this is the skin-tight pyro you were talking about." Dean examined the fourth body. "Don't ask how her boobs aren't squeezed in that suit. She probably died from lack of oxygen in that suit. More or less, she only lived for a week." I explained to him, attempting to pull Gabbi out from being crushed by a drunk Scot.

"Well, there's some marks on her neck. She could've been strangled to death before the suit got to her." Objected Dean. "If so, what could've killed..." I hear the sounds of heavy sploshing. "Something always answers my unfinished sentences!" With that, Dean and I turned around to see the infamous Tentaspy trapping our only means to escape.

"Do something, Dean!" I cried out. "You're the Doctor!" "But you have a gun!" With that, Dean pulled out his gun he used earlier and pulled the trigger. The only sound was a soft click and we realized we were screwed.

"You didn't reload? Damn it Dean, if we weren't on the verge of dying, I would command you to shoot your own foot!"

Before said person can make a reply, a tentacle managed to slither its way up his leg and made him upside down (and of course the usual gasp and say 'Dean!' like it was that bad)

"Zeems like I can eat like a king." The tentacle's owner had a smooth voice, obviously French. Sadly, his voice was mixed with Dean cursing furiously. The only thing I can make out from the damn spy blending in the darkness was some narrow object lodged in his head. What am I going to do?

Wait a moment, doesn't the demoman have the Scottish Skullcutter on him?

Pushing the drunkard on his stomach, I pulled the heavy weapon from the invisible sheath that kept it on his back. When I said heavy, I mean _really _heavy! Bad plan, Patricia. The only thing there is to do is wait for my doom…

…Until the Tentaspy's head rolled onto my feet, blood oozing and everything! His bloody fell limp and lost its grip on Dean (who hit his head on the fall), then it exploding in black ink. Yes, black ink. Not that pink sparkly blood, it was literally black ink everywhere.

I looked up to see Vergil being the savior, Yamato at hand. I totally did not expect this since Vergil would usually do it when someone is at the verge of dying, not when they are at the point of doom. If it was Dante, it would be more reckless and at the time Gabbi, Sniper, and Demoman would've woken up and just finish it off.

Speaking of which, they should've woken up right about…..now.

"Did I kill it?" Gabbi groaned, not noticing Vergil being the only one not covered in ink. "Way to go Katniss." Dean cheered sarcastically. "Your bow somehow got lodged into its eye with such a powerful force, tearing his head right off." With that, he started a slow clap.

**~Moments after explaining stuff~**

"Well, seems like our work here is done for now." I said. "It's kind of a disappointment we didn't have to push some bomb cart to their base."

"We would've died with the explosion and you'll probably reincarnate." Gabby corrected me.

"Aye, If yoo're gonnae on an adventure, i'll come wi' ye." The demoman slurred. "I owe my life to ya, shielas. Moight as well come along." Sniper added on.

"Sweet! New members of the army!" I cheered. "Onwards, to the TARDIS!"

**~Insert Batman scene change music here~**

"Yes, it's bigger on the inside. Dante, give them the tour."

I was looking through the control board, wondering for my next move. "Hey, Doctor." My friend appeared beside me, "Question." "Answer." "What if the TARDIS was in shape of an automobile?" "What do you mean?" "Like what would the car be like? Would it be like the one from _Back to the Future_?"

"I don't know, probably the shape of a big cat."

"…like a Puma?"

"…Sure, let's go with that." With that, I pulled on the lever and the TARDIS is now departing Team Fortress 2 to a brand new fandom! I wonder where we'll end up.

* * *

**To the reviewer who request a RvB chapter:**

**I don't know who you are**

**I don't know what you write**

**But I will find you, and love the shit out of you!**

**Here, spot the two obvious references above. Win a cookie!**

**Meep: For those who are curious on where we are going next. This is a hint -gives reader a jar of dirt-**

**Reader: This is a jar of dirt.**

**Meep: Guess what's inside it?**


	12. Dead Man's Nickname

**gNat2: Constructive criticism is the worst critic. Try kicking low on a bad fanfiction like that Sly Cooper/TUFF Puppy one...or the Harry Potter/Sly Cooper xover seeing as Harry is SO out of GODDAMN CHARACTER! **

**Meep: This might be slow at first, but right now Nat and I are working on a plot that'll blow your mind.  
**

**gNat2: Like that twist in Sly Cooper 4! You know, with the black knight and Penelope?**

**Meep: Enjoy...meep!**

**DISCLAIMER: You should all really know this by now. But I'll do it anyway. Natalie and I do not own anything but our OC personas…..and unfortunately, the Sues are all ours too. Does ********anyone want them? If you do, please just let us know before you take them.**

* * *

In case of Sues, use the TARDIS

Chapter Twelve (seeing as I figured it out)

Gabbi's POV

Demoman yelled drunkenly for a good majority of the bumpy TARDIS ride to whatever canon we were going to now. Sniper was a bit freaked out, but that's to be expected when travelling through time and space in a vintage blue police box that's bigger on the inside than on the outside. All in all, it was not a fun ride. _I wonder where we're going next…and when we're getting to Lord of the Rings! It has to happen! It just has to! I have to get that unholy spawn of Morgoth we saw in the Supernatural canon! _I thought.

"Please keep your hands, feet and other limbs inside the TARDIS until the TARDIS has come to a complete stop. If you don't I am not responsible for whatever happens to you! I know you didn't really have a choice but thank you for travelling with the Twelfth, and only female, Doctor and her companion Nelyo!" Patty yelled, grinning like a maniac. And using a nickname I hadn't heard in months. Part of me had kinda hoped that she forgot how our friend Hailey, who is just as much of a Tolkien fanatic as I am, had nicknamed me after Fëanor's eldest son's nickname. If that didn't make sense, I'm going to ask you to pretend it did.

Eventually the TARDIS did stop, and we crash landed. Demoman collapsed and started swearing. Dante, Patty and Vergil all stumbled on their feet for a moment. Sam nearly fell and held on to Dean for balance, causing Dean to trip and bump into me. This resulted in me falling on my ass and getting laughed at by Dean. After making sure I hadn't broken my bow or arrows, I stuck my tongue out at Dean.

"Alright, we landed." Patty started to say. "No shit Sherlock." I interrupted. "We can go there after." Patty waved her hand at me dismissively, "BBC or the one with Robert Downey Jr.?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Who wants to go find out where we are?" Patty asked. There was complete silence among our group. It was in that moment that we were able to take in the fact that the TARDIS was swaying and there were seagulls constantly wailing outside somewhere. It didn't take a genius to figure out that we were near, or on a boat in, some ocean or other.

"Is there anyone in there?!" A voice yelled from outside. The voice was male and had a bit of a British accent. Patty looked at me and smirked. I was confused for a moment, but then I finally placed the voice. _Holy shit! _I thought.

"I'm going to assume that whoever's out there is going to want to see all of us." Vergil stated. "You think?" Patty asked. I resisted the urge to face-palm. We all grabbed whichever one of our weapons was closest and prepared to go face whatever was out there. Patty and I slowly opened the door to the TARDIS and walked outside….into the point of a sword. Awesome. I went cross-eyed trying to see the tip of the sword that was almost touching my nose.

"Son of a bitch." I heard Dean mutter from somewhere next to me. Patty discreetly elbowed me in the ribs and I un-crossed my eyes. Said eyes went about as wide as dinner plates when I looked up to see who was pointing a sword at me. Suddenly, the TARDIS swaying and the seagull cries made sense. We had landed in 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and standing in front of me, with a very sharp sword still at my throat, was Will (frikkin') Turner.

The rest of the crew of the Black Pearl, minus someone who was at the helm, had their weapons drawn and pointed at us as well. I recognized Jack, Gibbs, Mr. Cotton, Ragetti, Pintel and Jack the Monkey. They had formed a semi-circle around us where the TARDIS had landed in front of the mast.

"Who the bloody 'ell are you?" Jack asked. I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. I looked around at everyone from the TARDIS, silently asking who was going to do the explaining.

Sam looked over at Patty. She, Dante, Vergil, and Sniper were glaring at the guys who were pointing swords at them. Demoman was still slurring come pretty nasty curses, and Dean just gave me a look that said 'How the hell do you expect me to know?' I nodded over at Patty, who nodded and stepped forward.

"Uh…Hi! My name is Patricia Gitin, but I prefer to be called Patty. This big blue box here is called the TARDIS. I know you're all probably freaked out because we randomly crashed on your ship, so allow me to explain. This box can travel into different times and dimensions and stuff. My friends and I have been travelling through different dimensions hunting demons. They're known as 'Mary Sues' in some places. We're hunting them so we can save the world from their evil. My friends' names are as follows; Dean Winchester, his brother Sam Winchester, Dante, Vergil, Sniper, Demoman and last but sure as hell not least, Gabriella Kochie. But she prefers to be called Gabbi, Gab or in the case of some very close friends, Nelyo. That one's an inside joke." Patty said all this in such a rush that no one else had a chance to speak until she was done.

"Wha' the bloody 'ell are 'Mary Sues'?" Jack furrowed his eyebrows. "How do we know you're telling us the truth?" Will continued, finally taking his sword away from my throat. "Who's Nelyo and since when does anyone call you that?" Dean looked over at me, confused. I face-palmed.

Patty quickly gave Jack the generic definition of a Mary Sue, back-sassed Will a bit by stating that if the giant blue police box wasn't enough to prove we were telling the truth than she couldn't help him. Jack officially introduced us to everyone and seeing as the things we had to talk about didn't concern the rest of the crew, Jack and Will led us down below deck so we could explain more without being heard. He'd left Gibbs in charge of the helm.

With my help, Patty explained some of the details of our adventure so far and Will shuddered when the name Evangeline Swann came up. I had to bite back a fit of hysterical laughter when that happened. Jack said he knew the name, remembered when she showed up, but couldn't remember anything from that point up until a few weeks ago, when we killed her in the Supernatural canon. _That's interesting. That's very interesting. _I thought to myself, then resolved to talk to Will about it at some other point.

"Alrigh'. We believe you now. Bu' why the bloody 'ell did tha' thing bring you all 'ere?" Jack asked. "I'm not really sure. It seems that the TARDIS has been bringing us to places that have a lot of problems with Mary Sues and that somehow we're supposed to stop them and save the world. Why us? I wish I knew the answer to that one myself." Patty answered.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Will asked. He was met with blank stares from everyone. Truthfully, wherever we had gone so far had had an immediate Sue problem that needed to be taken care of. Since there was no danger of Sues at the moment, I had no idea what we were supposed to be doing.

"Dude, I have no idea." Dean replied simply. We all sat uncomfortably for a moment before it was decided that we were going back up to the main deck. Once there, most of us tried to make ourselves useful by helping out in whatever ways we could. The crew didn't need much more help so I just leaned against the side of the ship and stared out over the sea. Patty was beside me and neither of us said anything for a moment.

"Was the mentioning of my nickname 'Nelyo' really necessary? No one here other than you and me understood the inside joke, that's why it's an inside joke. And I'm pretty sure Dean is going to interrogate me to find out." I told her. Patty chuckled.

"Yes, it was in fact necessary." Patty replied. I smirked and rolled my eyes. "I still want to know why Hailey gave you that nickname. Seeing as you two are Tolkien fanatics, I'm assuming it has something to do with Middle Earth." Patty stated.

"You would be correct in that assumption. See, it's actually the nickname of a character from 'The Silmarillion'. I dressed up as that character once for Halloween at Hailey's request and she started calling me that. Then she told you and everyone else and it stuck. Of course, it didn't help that this character, like me, is left-handed. Quite personally, I think that's why Hailey asked me to be this character." I explained, laughing to myself at the memory of dressing as Maedhros for Halloween.

Of course, I hadn't done it alone. I couldn't just dress as Maedhros and not have other people to be the rest of the House of Fëanor. Hailey and six other Tolkien fanatic friends of ours had dressed as Fëanor and his sons for Halloween one year. The best part had been the fact that all of us had tried to act like whichever character we were dressed as. We got a lot of weird looks that day and Hailey started calling me Nelyo. I retaliated by calling her Fëanáro at every possible time, seeing as she had dressed like Fëanor. It stuck and now everyone who was a part of that Halloween group was called by their character's nickname.

"Do I know this character's normal name?" Patty asked. I screwed my lip to the side, trying to remember whether or not I had told her. "I don't know. Does the name Maedhros ring any bells?" I replied. Patty nodded. "Then yes, you do know this character." I said.

"Was that the guy you were dressed as that one Halloween where you had to buy a red wig?" Patty asked, obviously remembering. I nodded. "Yep." I grinned. Patty laughed. "I remember you, Hailey, Rosie, Emily, Rachel, Danielle, Ella, Laura and Shannon getting looked at like you were all crazy that year." She told me.

"Well, yeah. We were acting like them. I expected to get looked at like I was crazy." I shrugged. Patty shook her head. "I'm re-instating that nickname." She said simply. "Not for long. If we ever our Sue Hunting ever takes us to Tolkien's universe, you are definitely not allowed to call me that until this whole mission quest thing is over. If you do, all hell would probably break loose." I told her seriously.

"Why would all hell break loose?" Patty asked. I hummed thoughtfully. "Where do I even begin to answer that? Let's just say that the House of Fëanor doesn't have a good reputation in Middle Earth. At all." I answered. "Do I want to know?" Patty replied. "Not unless you want to sit here for hours and listen to me talk about most of the First Age of Middle Earth. Or Beleriand as it was called way back then." I smirked.

"Yeah, I don't want to know. I know full well that you actually would go into the entire history of Middle Earth just to answer that question." Patty shook her head and I laughed. "Yes, I would." I confirmed. "Well, I'm going to go bother Jack now." Patty announced. "Okay, have fun!" I called after her as she left.

I stared out over the open ocean for a little while until I heard two pairs of footsteps come up behind me. I looked over to where I heard the steps and saw Sam and Dean. I smiled slightly.

"What's up?" I asked. "Who's Nelyo and who calls you that?" Dean asked for the second time that day. "Nelyo is the nickname of a character in 'The Silmarillion'. It's a J.R.R. Tolkien book." I stated.

"The guy who wrote 'Lord of the Rings'?" Sam asked. I nodded. "That only answered part of the question." Dean stated. I made a face. "Patty, my friend Hailey and a few other friends call me that. We dressed up as characters from 'The Silmarillion' one year for Halloween and the nicknames stuck for whatever reason." I explained. Sam and Dean both nodded.

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna start calling you that. I think I'll stick to Katniss." Dean told me. "I just might have to smack you if you started calling me Nelyo." I replied. Dean raised his eyebrows and Sam snorted. "You don't have issues with him calling you Katniss?" Sam asked. I smirked.

"Not really. I take it as a compliment." I shrugged. "Fair enough, Katniss." Dean replied. Sam rolled his eyes. Sam and Dean left after we talked for a little while longer. Eventually I went back into the TARDIS and fell asleep, resolving to talk to Will in the morning about what had happened while the Sue was here.

* * *

**Author's note: Yeah, this was kind of a filler chapter. I had a bad case of writer's block and we needed to kill time. I know I reference Lord of the Rings a lot and we will get to that canon eventually. I'll swear an oath on it if anyone wants me to. *smirks* Whoever got that reference is getting major brownie points. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

**gNat2: Did you know, if you pronounce Nelyo wrong it'll sound like Nero from Devil Mary Cry 4.**

**Nero: Hey! What am I doing here!**

**Meep: Sorry, my bad! I left the multi dimensional door to the Author's Note on.**

**gNat2: -facepalm- We'll be moving to the Pirates category in the next chapter.**


	13. Prepare for trouble

**Captain Jack: Can you please explain to me what the bloody hell is this 'lonely island'**

**Meep: Why?**

**Captain Jack: That lass over there is holding a metal box screaming that it's on a boat.**

**Meep: About that...**

**gNat2: NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART!**

* * *

In case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT I REFERENCE! NATALIE AND I ONLY OWN OURSELVES AND THE SUES! The Sues are still up for sale, by the way. If you want them, tell us and they're yours! **

Chapter Thirteen

Gabbi's POV

Most of the next day was relatively boring. I had concluded that we were somewhere in 'Dead Man's Chest', the second 'Pirates of the Caribbean' movie. There still hadn't been any sign of Sues or Sue-like activity, which was weird. Demoman and Jack had been talking all day. Patty was standing next to me as we leaned against the railing of the ship.

"I have a feeling that Jack and Demoman are going to be bros." Patty stated, watching the two of them talking. I raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "No comment." I replied.

"Doesn't it seem weird that there haven't been any Sues here yet?" Patty whispered. Sue business wasn't exactly something to be blurted out to the whole crew. In this canon only Will, Jack and possibly Gibbs knew about Sues.

"Yeah. It seems a little weird. But that probably means they're planning something big; which, obviously, is a very bad thing." I replied, pulling my hair up off my neck seeing as it was really hot. Last night, Patty and I had changed into short sleeved shirts. Neither of us had thought to bring a pair of shorts. But that was probably for the best seeing as people in this canon might just flip out at that.

"What makes you say that they're planning something?" Dante asked as he and Vergil came up to Patty and I. Both of us turned to face them. "They're not just planning something; they're probably planning something big. Why else would they draw back completely?" I reasoned.

"A valid point." Vergil muttered. "But what would they be planning?" Patty asked. "Does it look like I know?" Dante answered. I shrugged. "That's what we've got to figure out isn't it?" I tilted my head to the side.

"True. I'm thinking maybe we should talk to Will. Something doesn't feel quite right about the way Jack seems to have forgotten everything from the time that Sue showed up here a year ago up until a few weeks ago when we killed her." Patty responded. I nodded. _Maybe he doesn't remember because he was brainwashed and started acting really OOC. _I thought.

"Yeah, that seems like a good idea." I nodded. Patty nodded, grabbed my arm and dragged me towards where Will was. _Oh, you meant now. Okay, fine! _I rolled my eyes. "I didn't think you meant right this second." I muttered, toning down the sarcasm a little. "I did." Patty replied simply, tapping Will on the shoulder with the hand that didn't have an iron grip on my arm.

"Good day Miss Gitin, Miss Kochie." Will turned to us. "Hi. If you don't mind, could you please just call us by our first names?" Patty asked. I nodded in agreement. "Anyway, we need to talk to you. It's about the Sues." Patty continued in a lower voice. Will nodded and the three of us left and went below deck so no one would hear us.

"Alright, yesterday when we got here Jack told us that he remembered the Sue whose name I will not mention. But he said he didn't remember anything after that point up until a few weeks ago. Am I right so far?" Patty started. Will nodded.

"During that time, Jack was acting a bit…odd. Even more so than he usually does. He seemed more concerned with the welfare of Evangeline than he was with finding Barbossa and the Isla de Muerta. It was strange." Will explained. Patty and I exchanged looks. _Yep, the Sue was making Jack act OOC. That's weird. _I thought.

"And what about everyone else? Was anyone else not acting like themselves when Evangeline was around?" I continued. "We should seriously be taking notes." Patty commented. I rolled my eyes at her and looked back to Will.

"Elizabeth hadn't been acting like herself when I saw her last. It's beginning to worry me." Will told us. "Hmm. Interesting." Patty mused to herself. "This means that the Sue was affecting the way everyone acted." She told Will.

"Jack only went back to being his normal self because the Sue was killed." I explained. "How do you know that the Mary Sue is dead?" Will asked. Patty snickered. "We know because we're the ones that killed her. We explained this yesterday. We're Sue Hunters who are trying to save the universes from Mary Sues and their evil." I reminded him.

"Are there any more Sues here?" Will looked at us curiously. "Yes, we just don't know where they are yet. The TARDIS wouldn't have brought us here if there wasn't a Sue problem." Patty told him. "Although, it is kind of weird that we haven't run into any yet." I added.

"When you get rid of all the Mary Sues here, what will you do?" Will asked. "We'll go back into the TARDIS and Patty will pull a lever. Then the TARDIS will take us to whatever Sue-infested place needs saving next." I answered. Will nodded and didn't say anything for a moment.

"If I told you I would like to consider joining you on your quest to rid the universe of Mary Sues, what would you say?" Will asked. Patty and I exchanged wide-eyed looks.

"Well, it's not like we couldn't use a bit of help. Just be warned, we don't know how long this mission is going to take, or what on earth we're going to be facing before we're done. None of us has any idea how this is all going to turn out. We're basically going in blind. Are you willing to join us in that?" Patty asked him seriously. _Is she trying to talk him out of joining us? _I wondered.

"Yes, I am. I have seen the sort of damage these Mary Sues can cause. I want to help stop it in any way I can." Will stated determinedly. Patty and I both smiled. "Well in that case, welcome to the club!" I told him.

Suddenly, Sam and Dean came barreling down the stairs. Patty, Will and I looked at them with varying confused expressions. They both looked kind of panicked. Nothing that can get that kind of reaction out of the Winchesters can be good.

"What's going on?" Patty asked, slightly alarmed. "I think we might have found some Sues." Sam replied. No one needed to say anything else. We were all on our feet and rushing back up on deck within seconds.

Sam and Dean led us to the front of the boat. I know there's probably a nautical term for it, I just have no idea what that might be. There, Dante, Vergil, Demoman, Sniper, Jack, Gibbs and a few others were staring out over the open ocean in disbelief.

I walked around to the side to get a better view. What I saw was the star of several nightmares for a while after that. Sailing towards us was a ship. Now normally, that wouldn't be a disaster. But this ship was bright pink and a fog of something that looked suspiciously like pixie dust followed it. The flag of the ship had One Direction logos on it and the sails were a light pink. I wanted to puke.

"Wha' the bloody 'ell is that?" Jack asked. "That, my friend, is an entire ship's worth of Mary Sues. And apparently they're heading for us." Patty answered.

"What the hell are we going to do about it?" Dante asked. "No idea. The best we can do is to prepare for battle as best we can." I told him, not taking my eyes off the floating pink nightmare. It was moving pretty fast, which was kind of scary.

"Jack, how long do you think we have until they reach us?" Will asked. Jack studied the ship for a moment, lifted his finger up in the air to test the direction of the wind, and made a face. "Not long! I'd say that we'll meet within a day or two." Jack responded.

We all looked at each other for a minute. _So, this is what we get when someone takes note of the fact that we weren't attacked by Sues the minute we stepped off the TARDIS. Awesome. _I thought to myself.

"Well, don't just stand there! We've got a battle to prepare for!" Patty yelled. Jack gave her a look and repeated the order to his crew. Then, everyone started rushing around, getting ready to fight Sues. Patty and I rushed into the TARDIS.

"So, do you plan on impersonating Legolas again?" Patty asked me as I grabbed my bow and checked my arrows. I snickered and nodded at her.

* * *

**Author's note: Okay, this chapter feels a little short to me. I promise the next one will be longer! The next one will also include that mind-blowing plot twist Nat was talking about earlier. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! **

**gNat2: -chuckling- One Direction logos...we are such cruel monsters.**

**Meep: Your idea.**

**gNat2: No, _our _idea. If your fans are going to chase you with llamas and pitchforks, might as well have me in a sports car screaming "GET IN THE CAR!"**


	14. BONUS chapter 1 part 1

**Fan: When's the new chapter coming out? I'm soo booored!**

**gNat2: Technically, this is not a canon chapter. I'm starting to write bonus chapters that are just for fun or fillers. It can be either angst or crack, or just badass. When I do, we won't go wibbly wobbly into the archive of said fandom. We stay where we are until we can fill out a canon chapter, finish that fandom, steal a character or two there, and jump to another archive.**

**Meep: Was my latest chapter of 'Of UNO and Thunderstorms' your inspiration?**

**gNat2: ...Maybe. Sort of. I started it a while back and finished after I saw yours.**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**This takes place after we leave the TF2 realm, the fandom(s) will be listen under this line.**

* * *

**~Sly Cooper ~**

**~Patty's POV~**

The trip to Teufort was…It really…I don't know, it wasn't what I was expecting. Nonetheless, I still had my fez secured on my head. Now that you think about it, I should've traded my fez for something in the Mann Co. shop. Maybe the Robot Chicken one, that would be cool.

"Patricia Gitin, I command you to stop thinking about hats!" Gabby clapped in my face. I snapped out of hatworld with a small jump. "Do not startle the pilot!" I Gibbs slapped her. "Also, how did you know I was thinking about hats?" "Lucky guess, thanks for telling."

The Sniper and Demoman would be useful for any sort of battle. Travish (the Demoman, yes he has a name) will plant grenades or sticky bombs and make easy traps that'll be hard to survive from. The Sniper can take out any Sue with his long range bow and not get pixie dust all over.

Then again, Gabby is also an archer. I really wonder if Legolas will somehow be able to join us…then we'll be unoriginal, but fuck it!

"I'm bored!" Dante announced, making it a big deal. "Dante, there's a swimming pool and a bowling alley on this ship. How can you be bored?"

Just before the white haired demon hunter could answer, the TARDIS started to jerk wildly. That's not a good sign.

"Lady and Gentlmen. Please hold onto something until the ship makes a complete crash!" I yelled through the machines beeping. I held onto the control board as Gabby held onto me, "When I meant hold onto something, I didn't mean myself!"

The TARDIS was literally on the haywire of a literal crash landing. If sexy breaks, I'm totally screwed.

Sooner or later, the TARDIS stopped jerking around, that's good. The bad news was that the engine broke and needed repair. Crap, I should've brought Engineer along for the ride.

"So…who wants to be our human sacrifice?" I proposed after we checked for any physical damage on ourselves. It was really quiet. Majority of the guys had been on adventurous battles and lived to tell the tale with the enemy's skull as a puppet, and they didn't want to open the damn door!

"Sam, Dean. You're coming with me!" Gabby broke the ice. The Winchesters sighed at their doom, "Lead the way, Katnip." "It's Katniss! No, Gabby!"

The mental suspense music started to rise as Sam slowly grasp onto the handle. With a soft click, he pushed it upon. Suddenly, he froze on the spot.

Literally froze. The cold air was unbearable that Dean pushed his brother out of the way to close it. Note to self: bring a sweater when you go on an adventure to the bitter cold.

**~One timeskip of suiting up later~**

My friend and I managed to bundle up in heavy puffy coats and three layers of pants. I can barely move my arms freely and my body was already heating up. The Winchesters decided, pussies that they suddenly became, to chicken out on this occasion and fascinate themselves with their own marathon of their own show.

"Permission to make a dumb theory?" I asked. "Hit me."

"Is it me, or does it feel really odd that we're always the sacrifices when we land to a new place?" I questioned. "It's like a fanfiction inside a fanfiction." "So in other words, ficception." Gabby cracked herself up at her terrible pun, but it managed to make me laugh before freezing to our deaths.

After the count of three, we exited the same house and into a cold and mystic land. It almost seemed…ancient, old…like balls. The weather was nicer, but not better, than last time so we shed off the heaviest coat. After some exploring on a dirt road, I saw light coming out of a cave…and the smell of hot chocolate?

"Maybe they can help!" Gabby ran to the light of the cave, me in tow. "You don't know who we're dealing with! They could be bad!" I managed to yell as I ran. My gym teacher made us run around the track twice and I'm already out of air.

Gabby managed to trip herself and the snow wasn't good with friction on my boots, meaning (in dumb terms) I managed to slip and trip over my friend. Luckily, I ended up pulling off a forward roll with a numb back. My clumsy companion, surprisingly, didn't do a front tap as if it was really unexpectedly quick for her to react. Since I am her ass of a friend, I gave her the slow clap.

"Good job, miss brown belt." I wheezed. "Shut your trap, blue tip." Despite her shortness, she pulled me into a side-to-side headlock and gave me a noogie.

Despite our laughter, it didn't really help that the sound of a gun cocking echoed in the cave. She slowly turned around, loosening her arm and I escaped from her grip, to face whoever was in the cave.

How does one explain this…oh yeah! IT'S THE FREAKING SLY COOPER GANG WITH BOB COOPER, THE VERY FIRST COOPER!

THANK YOU, TARDIS!

**~Gabby's POV~**

They're standing up like humans…Yet they have animalistic fur.

Two raccoons (one of them looks more like a barbarian than a raccoon), a fox (who is holding a gun and the only female), a pink hippo (with no pants), and a turtle wearing a safari hat in a wheelchair. This is getting really weird really fast!

"Uh…hey." Patty broke the awkward stand-off. It's just a hutch, but I think she knows who they are and (if or if not) fangirling in her head.

**~Patty's POV~**

Did you know I'm having a fangirl party in my head?

**~Back to Gab~**

The gun holding fox tightened her grip on the gun. "Just _who _do you think you are?" Her voice gave off a latina accent, odd. Maybe she's…I don't know. Just maybe.

"I think I'm the Doctor, and I think my friend is named Gabby." Doctor replied comically. "Our machine broke down not too far from here." Of course, the pink hippo asked, "Doctor? Doctor Who?" (we should keep count on how many times people made that stupid catchphrase.)

"So you're from that blue telephone box?" The non-barbaric raccoon asked, getting a nod from her. "I'm assuming we crashed into each other not too long ago."

**~Patty's POV~**

"I trust you, it's bigger on the inside." I added in, correcting Sly Cooper that the TARDIS isn't just an average phone box. "It's a TARDIS, Time and Relative Dimensions in space. We can go anywhere and anytime, just you name it."

So I told them the entire story all the way to the beginning. Bob was obviously confused and Bentley was surfing through the web about our little machine.

"Ah ha! I knew it!" He cried out heroically, pushing up his big glasses. "There have been reports of a blue box appearing in different periods of time! The great massacre of Forks, the disappearance of the Winchesters, and mass amounts of pink glitter goop all had that very same box linked to them!" This is why he's my favorite character.

"May I ask why does it mention pink glitter?" Asked Sly.

This is going to take a while. After explaining the Cooper gang about the Mary Sues, they all nod their heads in understanding what I told them. "Also, they're not working for Le Paradox. Their master is probably way more powerful than the enemies you ever meet COMBINED." I took a deep breath, that took a while.

Now, how to get the TARDIS fixed…

* * *

**gNat2: Hooray for not being dead! I also like to thank the lovely review _Bri _for giving me lists of ideas. Thanks, girl!**

**School's being an ass with my classmates and all. I'm wrapping up the units and trying hard at the fitness test in gym (as it counts for a final) in order to get ready for regents and finals. Also my mom made me sign up for a PSAT course, without my permission, which is tomorrow. I have to get there early and it ends just around the time I have to get to karate. **

**I'd rather just go to karate.**


	15. BONUS chapter 1 part 2

**gNat2: If you're ever bored in waiting for this fanfiction update, make sure to see my newest fic "Professor Layton and the False Shepherd" which is basically a bioshock infinite and PL and the Unwound future Xover. Also, check Meepalicious' "Pirates of Vermont", which is a Pirates of the Caribbean fanfiction. It has the same concept of 'Of UNO and Thunderstorms'**

**hooray for self promotion!**

**Also, Spoilers to Sly Cooper 4 ahoy if you haven't beaten the Ice Age level!**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

**~No one's POV~**

Everyone in the TARDIS was getting worried, which was kind of unexpecting since they're the only females on the ship and know what they're doing.

They all decided to debate on who gets to find their bodies. At the end, they kicked out Dante and Vergil to be the search party. Demoman was passed out from the unknown unlimited supply of booze, Sniper was watching some crocodile hunter on TV, and Sam was kicking Dean's ass in bowling.

"Just imagine the girls being relieved that I saved them. 'Oh Dante, we miss you so much. However shall we repay you?'" Mocked Dante. "I'm surprised Lady isn't the one making us save someone from something." He chuckled at the good old days where he was stuck in debt and two women and a small child would bicker at him to get hired and don't mess up the jukebox. Moments later, they got near the cave the girls entered. They heard laughter and chatter inside. The devil hunters rushed in, guns drawn.

"Oh my god, they actually care!" Laughed their only way home. She high fived her best friend with the other hand holding a hot chocolate. "Dante, Vergil, these are my good acquaintances. That's Sly, the raccoon, his ancestor, Bob, his ex, Carmelita, and Bentley. We sort of crashed into them in midspace." Patricia took a sip of the hot beverage. "They have another friend, Murray, but he's setting up an obstacle course for Bob." She checked her watch. "Should be calling just about…"

_"I got the course all set, bring Bob wheneva you want!" _"That's him." With that, Bob went to the location of said course the barbarian way.

"I'm going to be helping Bentley in fixing the TARDIS. You three can watch 'The Murray Games'." With that, Gabriella burst out in a fit of laughter. "Also, you shall not volunteer as tribute." Patty told her. "Anyways, have fun!" She exited out of the cave with the super genius wheeling behind.

**~This timeskip had a name, but Sly stole it~**

**~Bentley's POV~**

This technology is incredible! It's nothing compared to what we used for our time machine. Did I mention it can go through _space?_ This seems too good to be true. Could she be working for Le Paradox?

Then again, if she's asking for our help, maybe she's not so bad after all.

"Hey, Patricia." I started a conversation through the repairing. "You can call me Patty, you know." "Right. Anyways, can you explain to me what does this Mary Sue look like?" I can see her shudder a little bit.

"It's a term for a girl that seems way too perfect in a certain area. She has good looks, good personality, education, blah blah blah. Of course, they come with a tragic back story or some dark curse. There are hard to kill unless you destroy the thing they call a brain. They also come in male form too." She explained. "For example…hmm…oh, I know! So there was this girl that my friend and I encountered when we were in the Winchester's world." She seems excited to tell the story as her voice gets a little faster. "We were lost and we had no idea where we are. Then some girl showed up and said her name was…was…Dakota something something Amethyst Raven banana fana Greenleaf Winchester. Gabby got so pissed since the girl had the last name of Legolas from _Lord of the Rings_ and she has the biggest crush on him." She dramatically took a big breath.

"So Gabby, after showing off her nerd side, attempted to shoot her with an arrow." She turned on her 'sonic screwdriver' on a piece of machine. "So I used my trusty sonic screwdriver to torture her with my friend finishing it off, she literally exploded in pink glitter and rainbows. The bad part it was we got covered in it." The story so far is kind of creepy. I use sleeping darts to take out the enemies, but actually killing them…not really what I want on my agenda.

"So of course, the Winchesters arrived with Gabby's arrows and…well, here we are." She finished.

I wonder…

"Since, you know, you're from another world, do you know anything about my friends that we don't know?" I asked, which froze her on the spot. She seem to be conflicted between telling me or not. "Do you think Penelope is a…Mary Sue?"

"No! Of course not!" She instantly replied. "I think she's really well developed and her way of disguising herself really is neat. But…" She sighed. "I don't know how to explain this. But when you see the Black Knight, make sure you take a good look at the emblem."

Emblem? Black Knight? How does that related to Penelope?

Before I could know more about what she said, the door burst open.

**~Patty's POV~**

"So penguins do fly with heavy amounts of force!" Gabby announced her presence. Just on time too, the TARDIS seems to be ready to go.

**~insert the twilight zone theme here~**

"It was good seeing you all, even if it was a short time." I said, a little sad I have to leave. I got to interact with Bentley, yay! Although I kind of spoiled the future and Penelope's whereabouts, it was fun having someone walk into the main room, mentally freaking out that there's a turtle in a wheelchair, and turn around to get drunk with the Demoman.

"I hope Bob can get his cane back." Gabby brought up, somehow catching on.

"Whenever you want to visit us, you know where we'll be." Sly pulled out his infamous call card. Sweet!

With our final farewells, my group got into the TARDIS and shortly after flew back into the multi-dimensions.

I still wish I could bring Bentley along. Oh well.

* * *

**gNat2: And thus, we ended the Sly Cooper arc. Glad I got this bridge built and got over it. **

**The next bonus is more of a prompt than a fandom. But I'm still wondering where to put said theme into which fandom? So basically...go crazy in the reviews**


	16. BONUS chapter 2 part 1

**Meep: Hey, has anyone seem gNat2?**

**Gang: ...**

**Meep: ...well?**

**Sam: I think she's crying her eyes out.**

**Meep: why? **

**Dean: She mentioned something like "Angel Beats" **

**Meep: ...ah. I'm surprised Cas didn't show up yet...**

**This takes place after the Supernatural arc, google translate was used during the making, and nat's on crack for making this**

* * *

**~In which the heros meet their genderbent selves~**

**~Red vs. Blue~**

**~Patty's POV~**

The great massacre of the Sue meeting should be in fanfiction history books. We killed a NCIS sue (who had the same last name as DiNozzo), a Pirates of the Caribbean sue, that sister of that bitch Dakota Sue. Not to mention a Lord of the Rings sue. I wonder if they were foreshadowing our future adventures.

…I would really like to go NCIS. That sue did mention it was hard for her gaining Gibb's and Ziva's trust. So maybe there's a chance that they might side with us instead of them, even with McGee doing his geek moment and name every actor of every fandom we go to.

"1, 2, 3, shoot!"

…

"You cheated!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Patty! Sam's cheating!"

…With this level of maturity, it's going to take a while to earn the trustworthy level.

"If I have to turn this ship around, I swear-"

The engine stopped; we landed. That was simple…a little too simple.

"Holy shit! Gabe, check it out! Another TARDIS!" The sound of a guy outside yelled. Wait a second, did he say 'Another TARDIS'? Am I on acid? The only logical explanation is that we somehow ended up in an episode of Doctor Who or…

Oh, it's that.

"Gabby?" I grabbed my friend. "What's up?" "Prepare to have your mind blow up in kazillion pieces." Before she opened her mouth to ask, I pulled her out of our safety net. I couldn't believe what I'm looking at.

It's me, but he's not.

Yes, I said he for a reason. He's my _male counterpart._ Heck, his hair was shorter than mine and replaced the female parts with masculine ones…also, he's kind of pudgy as well. So much for an athletic counterpart.

Gabby's counterpart can be easily mistaken as her brother. Same look, minus feminine parts, yadda yadda yadda…

"Pat-"

"-Patty-"

"-What the hell is going on?" Gabby and her other self asked.

"Haven't you dreamed of wondering what would you be like to be the opposite gender?" Male me asked, getting a nod from the two. He did jazz hands in my direction and said, "Gabriel, meet my counterpart, Patricia." "Gabriella, meet Patrick."

This couldn't be any better, right?

I mean, we're in a middle of a field (most likely a canyon) in the middle of nowhere! This is an unusual place to be (unless it's Mass Effect). I wonder where we are…

**~meanwhile~**

_"Holy shit! There are girls down there! They're not even wearing armor!"_

_"Church, there's no way there can be girls down there without any armor. Maybe they could be freelancers in disguise."_

_"Son of a…they're coming out of blue boxes! The girls in one, and their identical counterpart in the other."_

_"It might be a magic tri-" "Shut up, Caboose!"_

_"What're they saying?"_

_"I have no fucking clue. This scope is for spying, not eavesdropping."_

_"Well, alright…ah crap, here comes the reds and their 'ambush'."_

**~back to the heroes times two~**

"Oh god." Gabby was on the ground laughing. "Dean's female name is Deanna!" She managed to choke out through her laughter. "And Diana's name is Dante!" Gabriel was laughing at her side. Yea, they could totally be mistaken as twins.

Sure enough, our pair of demon hunting duo now encounter their female selves. Diana has a black strapless bra over her breast (her size…doesn't surprise me) while wearing the infamous long red leather jacket and black short shorts. Her hair was cropped to more of a sexy demon hunter and her long black leather heels tells me that she doesn't give a crap about how skimpy she might look. Vergil's counterpart, Virgilia, was basically Vergil with tits. She had his slicked back hair, his blue leather jacket, the only difference was that Virgilia wore a black corset that stops at the hips. The genderbending of the Winchesters, however, doesn't really change what they wear.

"Note to self: read less crack fanfiction." Gabby made her finger into a pen and wrote in non-existent ink on her hand.

"Alright, does anyone have any idea where we are?" Samantha (Sam's genderbent self) brought up. "Let's see…we're in a canyon in the middle of nowhere…we must be in Arizona!" Dean added in, getting a Gibb's slap from Gabby. "False, R-tard. It's too grassy to be in a dry arid land and the air here feels different. We could be in Lord o-"

"Alright, you sons of bitches, hands up!"

…That doesn't sound like any elf, dwarf, or hobbit I know. I can hear the common sound of a gun cocking behind me and Patrick looks like he might explode from excitement.

"Dude, he has the armor from Halo!" Pointed out Dean. "But…he doesn't look like Master Chief."

"Of course Sarge doesn't look like fucking Master Chief, dumbass. He would be saving the galaxy instead of being a sitting duck in a canyon." Said another voice.

"Grif! I command you to shoot yourself in the foot."

"But that takes work, and it's very painful."

"It's an order!"

"Alright…" **BANG! **"Ow! Lopez, what the hell?!" "_No es mi culpa que es lento." _(It is not my fault you are slow.)

"Either way, all of you are coming to our base."

Crap crap crap! It's hard to believe we're in Red vs. Blue, but Sarge thinks we're the enemy! What the hell am I going to do?

I caught Patrick's eye as if he had the same idea as I have. With a silent nod, we yelled, "Every man for themselves!" and whipped out our sonic screw drivers to screw up Sarge and Grif's audio sensors, making them double over in pain. Everyone else managed to run away and scatter themselves across the canyon of nothingness.

Patrick grabbed my wrist and head towards the blue base. "Are you sure we're thinking the same idea?" I asked. "If it involves using a talking tank, maybe."

…Damn, he's good.

* * *

**gNat2: I feel better crying after an episode of Angel Beats. -sniff- Why did Yui had to disappear?**

**Meep: Aaaaand you're going to bug me into watching it, right?**

**gNat2: Hell yea! Be lucky there's a dub!**


	17. French-kiss an orc, Mary-Elven-Sue!

**gNat2: It can't be!**

**Meep: But it is!**

**gNat2: You became productive! -hugs-**

**Meep: -cant breath- yea...sure...**

**gNat2: -lets go- So much for finishing Red vs. Blue back to back. Speaking of which, Meep has approved the genderbent heroes and we are planning on having them return in a canon chapter in the future -throws colorful paper in the air- But its going to be a bitch genderbending ALL the people that we bring along until that fandom...**

* * *

In case of Sues, use the TARDIS

**DISCLAIMER: *sighs* Well, here we go again. Nat and I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean or anything else that is referenced in this story. The Sues are ours, unfortunately. But if anyone wants them, they're being given away. So if you want them, let us know!**

Chapter Fourteen

Gabbi's POV

Everyone on board the Black Pearl was getting ready for the upcoming battle with the Mary Sues. I was wearing my black hoodie and pants and my hair was once again braided back like Legolas's. What can I say? Impersonating him and pissing off Sues was fun!

Patty and I stood at the front of the ship with our weapons. I fiddled nervously with my bow. The ship was close enough now that we could see Sues moving around on deck. It wouldn't be long now. The Sues would attack soon.

"Jack says they will attack us before nightfall." Will's voice came from behind us. Patty and I turned around to face him. He had a sword tucked into his belt and two more in his hands. I nodded. _I kinda figured. _

"What do you intend on fighting with?" Will asked us. Patty smirked and took out the sonic screwdriver.

"This. It's uh magic. Yeah, let's put it that way." She explained. Will raised an eyebrow.

"Do you know how to fight with a sword?" he inquired.

"I do, yeah." Patty answered. Will handed her one of the swords he was holding. Patty tucked it into her belt and turned to me.

"I'm going to shoot them with my bow. I'm no good with swords. I can sort of use daggers and knives though." I told him. Will nodded.

"Would you like me to see if I can find you some daggers or fighting knives?" Will asked.

"That'd be nice. Thanks." I replied. Will left and returned a few minutes later with a couple of fighting knives and gave them to me. "This should work." I smirked slightly.

"Can we keep these?" Patty asked. "Yes." Will answered. Patty's grin at that moment could be compared to the Cheshire Cat. I smiled and tucked the daggers into a belt I was wearing.

Suddenly there was a blood-curdling shriek from the Sue ship. The scream was accompanied by random, really crappy sounding music. Everyone on the ship flinched. Sam, Dean, Patty and I all pulled faces and shuddered.

"Wha' the bloody 'ell is that?" Jack shouted over the music. Demoman shouted something that I couldn't make sense of and Gibbs muttered something about the devil. _I know they're Sues and all, but why do they have to have such horrible taste in music? _

"That, unfortunately, is the 'music' of one Justin Bieber." Patty explained.

"Thank god there's only one." I muttered. The voice singing squeaked up to an ungodly pitch and everyone on board flinched and covered their ears.

"Well, now what?" Patty asked me. I opened my mouth to answer, but a sudden shout came from the other ship. I whirled around to see what had happened. A sparkling, pink cannonball flew through the air and landed a few feet from the Black Pearl.

"Prepare to fire!" Jack yelled to the crew. Said crew immediately ran to battle stations. "Fire!" Jack yelled. The two ships exchanged cannonballs for a few minutes. I ducked down for cover, pulled my hood up over my face and knocked an arrow into my bow, waiting for the Sue ship to sail within shooting range.

I stood and looked up only to see that the Sue ship had sailed up next to us. A million different curse words ran through my mind. I quickly fired an arrow onto the ship and grinned when it hit a Sue, who immediately exploded into sparkles. I had enough time to fire one more arrow before the Sues began to swing on ropes to the Black Pearl.

More orders were given and everyone started shouting as the Sues landed on the ships. _Shit. _I mentally cursed. Sam, Dean, Dante and Vergil began to shoot Sues with their guns, but it didn't help. They just kept coming. Patty was fighting them with the sword Will gave her and Jack and his crew were just sword fighting them and trying not to be dazzled.

Somehow, I ended up back to back with Patty. We fought our way out of the circle of Sues we had been trapped in and exchanged anxious looks.

"I really hope pirate Sues are the only ones here." I told her. She nodded in agreement. A pair of Sues then attacked us. I ducked the sword and quickly took out the fighting knives Will had given me. I grinned from under my hood and blocked the next strike the Sue in front of me dealt. I ducked under her arm and ended up behind her. She spun to face me and I stabbed her with my other knife. I coughed as the Sue exploded into sparkles.

"Hey, Legolas. Is that who I think it is?" Patty yelled to me from across the ship and pointing to the upper deck where the steering wheel was. I got a similar reaction to the one I had gotten in Supernatural. Nearly every Sue on the ship stopped and started frantically looking for me. I rolled my eyes, but looked up to where Patty had pointed.

My eyes widened. There were two Sues there. One of them, believe it or not, was Elizabeth Swann. _What the hell?_ I thought. I then looked to the second figure and nearly threw my knife at her. Somehow, yet another Elf Sue had escaped Middle Earth and had come to bother everyone else. This one was very tall, had red hair and was dressed in pirate garb. _Wait a minute….red hair? Oh. You've got to be kidding me! _I thought.

"Unfortunately, I do believe that is who you believe it to be!" I yelled as I ran over to Patty.

"So, you're telling me that it _is _Elizabeth?" she asked. I nodded and shifted on my feet.

"We may have bigger problems. There's an Elf Sue with her. And unless my facts are completely wrong, she might just be related to Fëanor. I'm kinda hoping my facts are wrong." I whispered.

"But your Middle Earth facts are almost never wrong." Patty argued.

"Well then we're extremely screwed." I told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"That would be another hours-long explanation. Long story short, Fëanor was the greatest Noldor Elf to ever live. If this Sue is supposedly related to him, that could be really bad for us. We're going to have to take her out." I explained.

"This ought to be fun." Patty said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes. Patty and I jumped back into the fight. Luckily, this far, none of our own had been killed. The deck was covered in sparkles and pixie dust though. I picked up my arrows where ever I came across them. I looked back to where I had last seen Elizabeth and the Elf Sue and scowled. They were gone.

Suddenly there was the loud booming of a canon. I grinned psychotically as I watched a canon crash into the bottom of the disgustingly pink Sue ship. The ship began to sink and any that were still on board were forced to either abandon the ship or go down with it. The Sues on the Black Pearl were outraged and started shouting at us. After that, the remaining Sues were quickly dispatched.

The crew and the Sue Hunters gathered on deck after the battle to see if everyone was alright. I pulled down my hood and took of my jacket. It was hot as hell in there!

"Where are Elizabeth and the Elf Sue?" Patty whispered to me.

"I don't know. They disappeared." I answered. Suddenly, laughter sounded from behind us. We whirled around to see Elizabeth and the tall red-haired Elf Sue at the helm of the ship.

"Did you honestly think it would be that easy?" Elizabeth asked, smirking deviously. The crew just stared at her in disbelief. Poor Will looked horrified. Well, I would too in his situation.

"Who are you?" Patty asked, narrowing her eyes at Elizabeth. The Sue grinned.

"Isabella Annabeth de la Fleur. Evangeline Swann was a dear friend of mine. When she left for that meeting, she told me about the Wandering Hunters that were to be discussed. Apparently, Cecelia hadn't gone mad as I had thought." The Sue explained.

"Where is Elizabeth?!" Will demanded.

"Well, she was on our ship. However, seeing as you sunk our ship, I would believe she drowned." The Elf Sue spoke up. Will's eyes went wide.

"You would be believing wrong!" A voice yelled. We all turned to see Elizabeth, the real one, standing on the railing of the ship holding a rope I'm assuming someone threw her. Will rushed over to her and we all turned back to the Sues.

"Well, now that that's taken care of. Who the hell are you?" I asked, glaring up at the red-haired Sue.

"My name, if you _must _know, is Míriel Haldaraina, youngest child and only daughter of Curufinwë Fëanáro. Fëanor, as most would know him." She answered. I resisted the urge to shoot her on the spot. Patty gave me a look, silently asking if that was legit. I shook my head.

"Gabbi's going to dazzle us all with her nerdiness now." Patty announced. I glared at her.

"First off, congratulations on actually getting his name right. I didn't expect that from a Mary Sue. Second, Fëanor never had a daughter. Third, even if he did, I don't think he would have named her after his deceased mother. And fourth," I trailed off, smirking. "Eca, a mitta lambyeta cendelessë orcova!" I yelled at her. It literally means 'Go French-kiss an orc!' in Quenya. Yeah, I used to have way too much time on my hands. The Sue looked absolutely indignant and I grinned. The Sue sputtered angrily and pulled out her sword again. I immediately knocked an arrow into my bow and shot her. The Elf Sue's grey eyes went wide and the look she gave me was full of absolute hate. She then burst into flames. Once there was only a pile of ashes left, I shot at the Elizabeth impersonator as she was trying to jump ship.

After we had cleaned up most of the glitter, the Sue Hunters began to pack up again. The arrow I had shot the Elf Sue with had burst into flames along with the Sue.

"Will, are you still coming with us?" I asked as we prepared to go.

"Yes. I spoke to Elizabeth about it. She thinks that the sooner the world is rid of Mary Sues, the better." Will answered.

"Welcome to the Sue Hunters. Things are about to get crazy." I told him. Patty gave Will a tour of the TARDIS. We were about to get in and leave when we heard Jack shouting behind us.

"Wait! I'm comin' with you!" he shouted.

"You are?" Patty asked.

"Of course! I wan' to get rid o' Mary Sues jus' as much as you do. An' me new frien' Demoman is goin' with you." Jack explained. Patty and I shrugged at each other.

"Welcome to the Sue Hunters. Uh, crazy shit's about to happen." Patty told him. With that, we went back onto the TARDIS and gave Jack a tour.

"Alright! Welcome to TARDIS travelling with the Twelfth Doctor Patty and her companion who goes by a million different nicknames! I tend to call her Nelyo, Dean calls her Katniss, and everyone else calls her Gabbi! Take your pick and hope she doesn't hurt you! Allonsy!" Patty yelled and pulled a lever.

**Author's note: Well, there you have it. The end of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' part of our journey. I know that there is a Lord of the Rings or Tolkien reference in nearly every chapter from me, but I can't help it! I'm a major nerd! But I promise we'll be going to Lord of the Rings eventually! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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**Will: I almost thought Elizabeth would be left for dead...**

**gNat2: You mean Left 4 Dead**

**Will: huh?**

**Meep: FORESHADOWING ALERT! FORESHADOWING ALERT! WEE-U WEE-U!**

**gNat2: My obsession with Angel Beats and Baka and Test (Watch it, Meep, there's a dub) is making me interally conflicted into thinking which should make a canon chapter. I was planning on the setting of AB (you know, purgatory and all) can be purgatory for Mary Sues and the Battlefront can't kill them (no matter how you die, you're always revived...unless obliterated.) or some Sue from another fandom that survived the Sue meeting massacre hid in the Baka and Test world and...I should probably shut up.**


	18. BONUS chapter 2 part 2

**gNat2: An over 1.5k word count? What the crapola is this? Anyways, I felt like I rushed it at the end...but I really wanted to get over it so I have more time to create fillers or bonus chapters since the fandom afterwards is one of Meep's favorite things in the world.**

**Meep: THEYRE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!**

**gNat2: I moved this to the L4D archive since the updating in the Pirates archive is too damn fast.**

**WE OWN NOTHING EXCEPT OUR OC SELVES AND MARY SUES!**

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**~No one's POV~**

The double heroes managed to flee in different directions, making it difficult for the reds to capture all of them. It also helped that the Doctors screwed of the audio sensors of two of them, leaving Lopez to look down at their stupidity.

_"Idiotas, usted debe haber agarrado a la chica cuando tuviste la oportunidad." _(You idiots, you should have grabbed the girl when you had the chance.) Lopez told them, not caring about their audio sensors. "What was that?" Sarge yelled. "I think he wants the girl." Said Grif. "What?" "What did you say, Sarge?"

If he had emotions, Lopez would've sighed at their stupidity. He went in a random direction, leaving the two in pain. He muted out Sarge yelling, "Get back here!"

**~meanwhile~**

"Is it a good idea to hide in a base of the enemy?" Gabriel asked Dante. "I have no idea, hopefully this will all blow over." "Pat and Patty screwed up their audio sensors, making them at risk of being deaf. I'm totally sure it'll be okay" "That's not my problem."

Gabriel mentally wished he didn't lose sight of his female self. They would've hide somewhere safe and possibly debate on who makes a good Jack Sparrow accent (that would be him, obviously), and the first one to pull off France from Hetalia's laugh subconsciously loses. He was lucky his eye caught Dante and followed him into the base.

"So, leader's boy, what's the plan?" Dante brought up. "Like I have any idea! Let's go around the base and try not to alarm anyone that might be here. Let's see if we can kill off a Sue or Stu."

With that, they sneaked around the base and got lost at least two times. Just as Dante rounded the corner, his head was slammed into someone else's armor.

"Oh, sorry about bumpi-hey! You're not from red." Said the person inside the pink armor. "Don't mind us, sweety, we're on a mission." Dante told 'her'. "Sweety? Are you gay or something? I'm not a girl!" The pink armored soldier yelled at me, pistol whipping him in the face. Unfortunately, the blow knocked Dante out.

"Dude, what the hell? We didn't know who was inside the pink armor!" Gabe told him. "God damn it, it's not pink!" "Looks pink to me." "It's a shade of light red." "Light red has a name, its pink."

The soldier sighed in defeat. "Since our argument is going nowhere, I'm Donut. Nice to meet you…" "Gabriel. Call me Gabriel." They both shook hands and momentarily forgot about the knocked out demon hunter.

Meanwhile, Gabriella suddenly discovered a strange craving for donuts.

**~somewhere else~**

_"Uh, Church, hate to break this to you…but the two that made Sarge and Grif lie on the ground in pain are in our base."_

_"God damn it, who was supposed to be on guard duty?"_

_"I think it was Caboose."_

_"Stupid…I wonder if they'll get past Tex."_

_"Oh man, I would love to see some action. Bow chicka bow wo-"_

_"SHUT UP, TUCKER!"_

**~With said duo~**

"Where's Church, Tucker, and Caboose?" Patricia asked, getting worried about the too quiet base. "By now, Tucker would've made a sexual innuendo and say 'bow chick bow wow', Church will tell him to shut up, and Caboose…will be Caboose."

Sheila, the tank, was offline at the moment (there goes the initial plan of fucking shit up) and other than that, there seems to be no one in the base. Strange, the only other person that could be here is…

As Patty was thinking who could be left, Patrick was grabbed from behind and thrown in a judo throw. He turned into a ragdoll just as he used his back as a landing pad.

**~Patty's POV~**

"I got it! It's-" I turned around to see Patrick lying down in a very odd position. Now I know why he sounded like the wind came out of his lungs! There was no banana slip on the ground and not another soul in the area.

Hold on.

"It's Tex, isn't it?"

He let out a groan.

"She's right behind me, isn't she?" Another groan.

I quickly turned around to block the freelancer's punch and attempted to push her back to grab my screwdriver. "I have a thing that makes whirling noises…and I'm not afraid to use it!"

**~Diana's POV~**

"Hey Diana, is it weird that I'm craving donuts." Gabriel's counterpart, Gabriella, asked. "What's with the sudden mood?" I asked back. "I have no idea…"

We were climbing up a ledge by the sides of the canyons. The cliff at the end could help us figure out where to go and who is where. I had no idea where to go, so I found Gabby and Samantha walking around and I joined them. Three chicks with lethal weapons are better than two, right?

As we got to the high edge, Samantha had us stop in our tracks and crouch forward.

**~Gabby's POV~**

There were three guys in armor, all in different shades of blue. One was holding a sniper rifle in cobalt armor, and the teal and regular blue ones just had regular yet futuristic looking assault rifles.

"Do you ever think they're here to eat babies?" The blue armored one asked. His voice rings the 'retard' bell yet I find it kind of amusing.

"Caboose, there's no baby in a 100 mile radius, excluding you. How could they be here?"

"Maybe…maybe there's a secret cult!"

The intelligent sounding voice sighed, "God damn it, Caboose."

Diana, Sammy (since it's too much to say Samantha), and I did a silent agreement. Diana drew one of her pistols and got up. "Alright boys, hands where I can see them."

The unannounced arrival of the half-demon hunter got all three to yell. "It's one of them!" Shouted the one holding the sniper. "We outnumber you, ma'am. Drop the gun." Just like that, it's was Sammy and I's cue to draw out our lethal weapons.

"Pfft, who uses a bow and arrow these days?" The teal one laughed. Diana 'accidently' discharge her gun and the bullet got into his foot. "Ow! Shit!" He then started to hop around, trying to caress his wounded foot.

**~this timeskip is brought to you by writer's block~**

After Sauron knows how long to settle down our argument, they finally told us their names.

"The idiot in the blue armor" "Hey!" "is Caboose, the other one is our leader, Church. Finally, I'm Tucker, I hope that'll sink in. Bow chicka bow wow~."

...I should probably ask Patty if Tucker is mentally high on something later.

Wait, where is Patty?

"Come to think of it…I think the girl you were talking about just went into our base and never came back." Church answered.

"Maybe the pretty lady is having a girl talk with Tex." Caboose added in.

"With Tex? Crap, we need to save her!" Church exclaimed.

Then Sammy piped up, "What's wrong with this Tex girl?"

"I once accidently shot her in the butt with Church's sniper rifle…that didn't go well."

We followed the blues to their base to discover…

**~Patty's POV~**

OwowowowowowowowowOW!

Why the hell do pressure points exist?

Tex has me in some weird lock and I'm in a position where I shouldn't be living or feeling anything at all! Gabby would always put me in weird locks but that's for self-defense! OW!

"Payback's a bitch." She said, twisting my arm. "So are you!" I yelled. "Thanks…"

"Tex, what the hell? She's not the enemy!"

I have never been so excited to hear Tucker's voice before in my life. No 'bow chicka bow wow' here, sorry.

**~After everything's settled~**

"We need to find our friends and get back to our…uh…magical boxes." I explained. I have Diana, Samantha, Virgilia, Gabby, Patrick, and Dean rounded up already. We need to find Gabriel, Dante, Vergil, Sam, and Deanna.

Cue searching music!

**~searching music comes with timeskip of laziness~**

Several explosions, many swears, fixing up Grif and Sarge's audio sensors (as they are not deaf for some reason) , and two hours worth of finding at least 2 sues and the rest of our team later, everyone filed into their own TARDIS.

"Wait, mysterious lady!" I heard Caboose cry out. I turned around to see the blue armor idiot running at his limit. "Will I (heave) ever (wheeze) get to see you (wheeze) again?" He managed to say through his lack of stamina.

Will I ever go back to visit new friends after this journey? For once, Caboose made me thought of something.

"Maybe…but only if you stop bothering Church about having him being you best friend." I replied. The helmet motioned a nod. "Or…Or…You could be my best friend!" He proposed. My heart was screaming in its fangirliness but my body just closed the door, leaving him in the cold.

This is turning into some weird girly anime romance. Note to self: Stop watching Baka and Test.

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**gNat2: I miss the genderbent heroes already...**


	19. Brainexe has stopped working

**gNat2: 2 updates in between a half hour period? What's going on in my social life?**

**Meep: EASTER EGG ALERT! EASTER EGG ALERT! WEE-U WEE-U! THOSE WHO SPOT IT WINS A PRIZE!**

* * *

**~No one's POV~**

Marietta Anatasia Ivory Ishimaru was just an ordinary person and TOTALLY NOT a Mary Sue! She's 13 years old but is totally mature for her age. She just graduated college when the zombie apocalypse happened.

Luckily, since she's TOTALLY NOT a Mary Sue, she managed to get the zombies from not attacking her and she found this group of survivors. They were named Ellis, Coach, Rochelle, and Nick. She has a SUPER crush on Nick, being the bad boy type and all. Later on, she found her stuck in a love triangle as she discovered Ellis has a crush on her and wants to meet her in a super dangerous place where they can meet alone. She managed to get there unharmed, obviously. But there's not sight of her love anywhere!

Due to her almost perfect flawless personality (keyword: almost perfect), her mind was so clouded up in her hormones, she didn't realized that someone is watching her.

She body then jerked as a bullet tore through her body. She flopped down face first motionless. Then the zombies ate her.

"Dumb bitch got what she deserves." Nick sighed in relief. "Things like her are the worst things you don't want to encounter in a goddamn zombie apocalypse."

"Nick! Get your ass in the safehouse already!"

**~Meanwhile~**

Patricia was attempting to push Will out of the TARDIS. "You'll be fine, trust me." She assured him. "We gave you a gun modified to your liking, and you are being personally selected to be our venturing pal!" Meanwhile, Gabby was waiting for them outside the box. She was leaning against a wall near the blue box of space travel.

They somehow got him to give up and started to explore the area. It was dark, cars were abandoned (or on fire, if you're lucky), and blood was scattered everywhere.

They found a secret passageway to the sewers below. Unfortunately, the bridge was torn off and they had to go through in shitty water.

"My clothes are covered in shit, I'm breathing in shit, I think I'm turning into the walking shit." Patty wasn't amused by this.

"My brother could beat that." Gabby added in. Their small laugh echoed in the tunnel.

**~Meanwhile meanwhile~**

Ellis's ears perked up. Someone was out there, right? He mentally prayed it isn't any of those…things that Marietta was.

"Great…first shit, now glitter! Someone did the slaughtering without us." He heard someone whine. "There's a girl up there." Another voice, more British than the first, noted.

The survivors kept low and quiet as they heard thudding on the ladder steps getting higher. There was a whirling sound and then a "Holy shit, it's a Mary Sue!" that came afterwards.

**~Back to the trio~**

**~Patty's POV~**

This Mary Sue was bleeding normal blood, no glitter or pink gloop surrounding her. Maybe the glitter by the stairs was from this Sue…who knows?

Let's play everyone's favorite game: Where the fuck are we now?

The abandoned cars and dead bodies indicate a post-apocalypse world.

We could be:

-Left 4 Dead

-The Walking Dead (game version)

-Some fandom's AU of a zombie apocalypse

-Dead Rising

-Saints Row

-Resident Evil

-Zombieland

-Shaun of the Dead

Some of the dead people looked like their skin has been ripped off, there were also medical alert signs from a community health organization that had graffiti all over it.

Possible places:

-Left 4 Dead

-Dead Rising

-Zombieland

-Shaun of the Dead

That slims it down to a 50/50 chance of being either a videogame or a movie.

I also saw some dead slash redead looking more than just got infected…like those special infected from…

…crap….

It's Left 4 Dead. Where the hell is my overly expensive prize?

I heard Will pull out his sword as the barrel of a rifle appeared to the bars of the safehouse. "We're not your enemy!" I tried to negotiate. "That's what they all say." The gun owner replied. Without thinking, I pulled out my sonic screwdriver and aim it at the barrel.

_Click_

_…_

_Clickclickclickclickclick_

"What the hell did you do to my gun?" Now he was really pissed.

**~Nick's POV~**

Two girls and some Orlando Bloom impersonator were outside of the safehouse, checking out what's left of Marietta. I caught on the words "glitter" and "Mary Sue", they must be in some sort of connecting to that think called a human.

I aimed my gun at them, but the taller girl pulled out some alien technology and jammed a perfectly good sniper rifle! That son of a bitch!

"Look, I know who you are. I know there are three other people inside. We can help you-"

The not so pleasant sound of an oncoming horde echoed through the sewer.

"But you need to help us by OPENING UP THIS DAMN DOOR!"

Rochelle quickly took off the bar to the safehouse as I took a step back. The door was shut quickly as it was opened as the smell of new shit filled the air again.

**~No one's POV…someone should could how many POVs already happened~**

The horde disbanded and was really no big threat to the heroes and their new "friends".

"Time for our introductions." Gabby said. "I'm Gabriella, but call me Gabby for short. This is my friend, Patty, and our other friend-"

"Well I'll be damned, is that Orlando Bloom?" Rochelle seems to be excited that a celebrity survived the madness. "May I ask who is this Orlando Bloom you speak of?" Will asked, already confused for eternity. "This is Will, not Orlando Bloom. Everyone confuses them with each other." Patricia lied. Lying was her special ability.

"Good to meet you, misses and sir. I'm-"

"Ellis, Nick, Rochelle, and Coach. I know." Patty forgot to think, but shortly covered her mouth. Her thoughts were screaming in colorful languages that are not to be heard to minors.

"How did you know our names?" Ellis gripped his cricket bat.

She took a deep breath and started to explain. "This is kind of weird, but I'm from another universe. Of course, all universes exist in one in some shape or form. In this case, this is actually a video game." This caused the survivors to gasp dramatically. "This is actually Left 4 Dead 2, in the map called The Passing. It's a downloadable content for any console that doesn't include PC. It's a short map, this is the finale episode. I won't ruin the surprise up ahead." I told them. "The reason why we're here is that of these creatures known as 'Mary Sues'. Mary Sues are usually in forms of females, if not male. They're too perfect and apparently melts every guy's hearts and fuels jealousy in girls. One can know if they just killed a Mary Sue if they bleed or explode in pink glitter." I took a deep breath. "Very hard to kill, but Nick doesn't seem to have a problem with that at all." I couldn't help but chuckle at my own little joke. "Mary Sues in your world are most likely your average infected with a twist. For example, a female Hunter or a Witch that talks instead of moping and killing those who disturb her…might as well suit up for painting the town pink."

With that, we grabbed the necessary supplies before heading out the other way up the stairs and..oh my god.

Holy motherfucking shit.

Not only were Francis, Zoey, and Louis were there and leaning against the rails, there were these two girls that look WAY too much like me and Gabby. There's a tall girl with medium length hair weird a worn out grey sweatshirt with her smaller friend with lighter and longer hair up in a loose ponytail while wear glasses.

"Yo, good to see something or someone not trying to kill us." The me look-alike said. "Seems like you four lost one yet gain two."

"Uh…a Smoker got her." I lied.

"I hated that girl." Francis said. "Of course you do, Francis." The Gabby look-alike replied.

"I'm Patricia, and you are…" "Natalie. You already met Francis and my friend, Kirstin." Kirstin gave a small wave. "The others are Zoey and Louis."

There is no Natalie and Kirstin in Left 4 Dead.

How could this be legit?

Are they Mary Sues?

MY BRAIN CANNOT COMPUTE ALL THIS!

"My friends here are Will and Gabby. We just met these four along the way." The survivors introduced themselves properly. "Isn't that Orlando Bloom?" Zoey pointed out (damn her and her smartness of movies.) "No, it's Tallahassee from Zombieland…He just looks like Orlando Bloom, okay?"

"If he can help you bring this bridge down, then sure." Zoey replied. "There's a generator over there that needs to be powered up before the bridge can be continued to lower down. We had that plan already…but…" It looked like she was choking up in her tears. "A really good friend of ours…sacrificed himself in order to make sure we're safe." Natalie finished her words. "There's an elevator over there that brings you to the generator. Unfortunately, the gas tanks are scattered all over and the elevator makes a lot of noise to attract a big ass horde…be prepared. We'll try to provide you as much as we can."

7 people, 16 gas tanks. This is going to be a cakewalk.

**~meanwhile~**

A lone figure stares down at the survivors with malice in her eyes. "Nick…" She hissed before disappearing.

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**gNat2: I need to sleep now, I have to meet Meep at archery...**

**Meep: and together, we'll laugh our asses off from the two updates in between rounds!**


	20. BONUS chapter 3

**gNat2: I'm so sorry for not updating earlier. My laptop was taken away due to personal things, my parents lied to me about not getting it back before exams, and writer's block on the epic battle of the L4D2 part and a filler for an upcoming fandom. Of course, you wouldn't care since none of my reviewers checks on me and say, "Are you there? Do you need anything? A snack? A condom? Just PM me." **

**...please excuse the Mean Girls reference...**

**AND HERES MY "IM BACK, BITCHES!" GIFT!**

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**~Mass Effect/Trouble in Terrorist Town~**

"Alright, one of us is a traitor. Who dumped the body of Mordin in the chute and knifed Liara behind my back?" Commander Jane Shepard demanded. She discovered the body of her Salarian companion with Liara and Gabby behind her. As they were finding the person who did this to Mordin, Liara was killed from behind and the newcomer human was no were to be seen. "It could be Gabby. Someone go find Gabby and follow her." She said through the comm.

_"I already found her body, commander. She was a detective."_Joker's voice replied. _"I found her DNA scanner and it's processing the DNA on her." _

The remaining people were Jane, John (her twin brother), Joker, Tali, Garrus, Patty, Vergil, Dean, and Sam. Sam, Dean, and Tali were the remaining detectives while the others are innocents (among the innocents are the traitors). Legiom and Thane were Traitors and Grunt was still missing in action. The DNA of their killer must've decayed by now.

_"Three minutes and forty-two seconds remain in haste time." _EDI announced.

_"If I die, it's Joker." _Patty said through the comm. _"Why me? I've been an innocent for five rounds!"_ The pilot complained, getting a laugh in response. _"The DNA finally picked up who killed Gabby. It's-" _Joker's voice was cut silent.

"Joker, are you there?" Shepard asked. "Joker?" She said a little louder. "Crap, I think he's dead."

_"What makes you sa-HOLY CRAP, I FOUND HIS BODY!" _Said Dean. _"You're a detective, so go and find the killer and how he killed him."_Vergil informed him. _"Right. DNA Scanner. Sammy, cover me." _ Said the youngest Winchester.

_"Hey, has anyone seen Garrus?" _Said Patty. _"Is he alive? Or is he just doing calibrations?"_

_"Ha ha, very funny." _Garrus said sarcastically. _"Yep, he's alive."_

A few seconds have passed, the Winchesters went silent, Tali accidently killed Patty, and Vergil died from taking the wrong step. The only people left were Jane, John, Tali, and Garrus.

_"I need Tali over here, I spotted a C4 detonating in 60 seconds." _Said John. _"I'm coming, hold on." _The Quarian replied. _"Two minutes and fifteen seconds remain in haste time." _The AI announced.

Jane was about the follow them, but a big explosion was heard and her hearing was shattered. It was really painful to concentrate with the ringing in your ears, even if you've been trained to get used to it.

"Was that the C4?" _"I believe it was." _"John, I'm going to kill you and you're next, Garrus."

The only place where her brother and the C-Sec Turian could be is that only tower big enough to be a Sniper deck. She was going to kick ass, but then…

**"Traitors win!"**

"SON OF A BITCH!"

Jane violently removed her virtual reality helmet and threw it on the ground. "That was a bullshit kill!"

Her brother laughed next to her. "Noob." He joked, receiving a punch to the arm.

"Even in 2160, I get my ass kicked from a video game." Said Patty. "None of you teabagged my body, right?"

"Teabagging?"

"A player goes on top of newly killed player. Proceeds to squat and put their genitalia in their mouths." Mordin explained.

Patty nudged Jane. "How does he know that?" She whispers. "Don't ask me. It's something that Legion would know."

"Well anyways, I have a ship to steer." With that, Joker left the room. Eventually most of the people that played walked somewhere in the Normandy or the TARDIS. Those who stayed behind were Jane, Garrus, Patty, and Gabby.

Patty broke the silence with an awkward laugh. "I sure wish we could stay, but we have two passed out drunks in our ship to take care of in case of alcohol poisoning." She said. "Since when did you care about their health?" Her companion pointed out. "Because…shut up."

With that, the two went into the police box and disappeared in mid-air/space. They were off on another journey that's probably less futuristic than the one they left from.

* * *

**gNat2: I have little to none knowledge about Mass Effect 2, which is where this chapter takes place (A shame I don't have a copy on me). Luckily, thanks to my obsession with Mordin-**

**Meep: Mordin and Nat, sitting in a tree...**

**gNat2: ...Thanks to my obsession with Mordin, I've read enough fanfiction to somewhat know how he talks. Don't kill me. EA already did that with Mordin.**

**If you recognize a reference, don't sue me.**


End file.
